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Newest Member: CNMW

New Beginnings :
It's happened!! I've reached mehhhhhh.

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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 4:43 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

So yes, we are still in the midst of D. My only concern AT ALL at this point is financials and how that will go.

I was just sitting here, gearing up to peruse WH's tax return (AKA Book of Lies), and I checked my email, as I know he sent a response (aka cluster B cluster fuck email) to one I sent a couple of days ago. I quickly located it, read it, and closed it out. I then realized I was completely unaffected. My blood pressure didn't rise. The vein in my forehead stayed submerged where it belongs. My breathing didn't change a bit. I feel utterly peaceful.

There are no words in the English language to describe how good this feels. I spent almost 20 years caring so much about what he thought of me (and it was ALWAYS bad!! Yet I kept hoop jumping).

I just spent 5 straight amazing days with my kids. We connected with each other, with new friends, had a sleepover, went to the beach twice. My lil guy is finally not afraid of the water. There was/is so much joy around me, I've never felt better in my life.

As far as WH...meehhhhhhh....no idea what he does with his time. Don't care. I rarely think about him outside the logistics of finances. Amazing how the heart and brain can completely let go of something that consumed your thoughts for 2 decades.

Life is so stinking good.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8253044
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traicionada ( member #10310) posted at 5:05 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

Woohoo! I bet you feel a thousand pounds lighter

Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

posts: 4020   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2006   ·   location: Dallas, Texas
id 8253064
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imagoodwitch ( member #23375) posted at 5:15 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

YAY!!!!!!

Ordinary average everyday sane psycho super goddess

posts: 6906   ·   registered: Mar. 25th, 2009   ·   location: Munchkinland
id 8253075
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FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 6:15 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

Congratulations! It boggles my mind sometimes when I think of how his shit used to send me reaching for the Ativan...

DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21594   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8253114
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 6:15 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

Thanks for sharing, and glad you arrived.... It gives us all hope. 20 years of a bad marriage can seem like a lot of time to shelve. Half of your life, one third of mine. You just gave us hope, that once we have made the tough decisions needed to get out of Infidelity, there can be peace and contentment!

I think that is better than "mehhh"!

posts: 2373   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8253115
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 7:58 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

Ain't it grand??

Welcome to the Land of Indifference!

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8253187
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max2018 ( member #63663) posted at 9:26 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

posts: 543   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2018
id 8253245
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DeeplyCrushed ( member #48367) posted at 11:29 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

WTB, all I can say is yaaaaaaaaaay!

So happy for you and I thank you for your super encouraging post.

I'm doing really good but, to be honest, haven't gotten to meh. Not yet, not quite.

"It's ok to be a glowstick; sometimes we have to break before we shine." ~~Unknown

posts: 1440   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2015
id 8253323
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 2:09 AM on Tuesday, September 25th, 2018

Well I'm not quite meh about finances. I need to keep the bitch boots on for that. But I've detached completely emotionally. Like FaithFool stated, I can't believe how unglued I was all the time trying to make him happy, and prove I'm a good person, and try to negate all the horrible things he said about me. It's that stuff (and his personal life) that I'm mehh about. I see it so clearly, as the crazy rantings of a mentally ill person. And I've moved on and cannot be bothered. At all.

It is bliss...

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8253393
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 WhoTheBleep (original poster member #49504) posted at 2:11 AM on Tuesday, September 25th, 2018

Oh, and the taxes? What a cluster fuck. Smoke and mirrors and all sorts of fluff and crap. I don't even know what I'm looking at.

Meeting with atty tomorrow to review. Yay.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8253397
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