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It's happened!! I've reached mehhhhhh.

WhoTheBleep posted 9/24/2018 10:43 AM

So yes, we are still in the midst of D. My only concern AT ALL at this point is financials and how that will go.

I was just sitting here, gearing up to peruse WH's tax return (AKA Book of Lies), and I checked my email, as I know he sent a response (aka cluster B cluster fuck email) to one I sent a couple of days ago. I quickly located it, read it, and closed it out. I then realized I was completely unaffected. My blood pressure didn't rise. The vein in my forehead stayed submerged where it belongs. My breathing didn't change a bit. I feel utterly peaceful.

There are no words in the English language to describe how good this feels. I spent almost 20 years caring so much about what he thought of me (and it was ALWAYS bad!! Yet I kept hoop jumping).

I just spent 5 straight amazing days with my kids. We connected with each other, with new friends, had a sleepover, went to the beach twice. My lil guy is finally not afraid of the water. There was/is so much joy around me, I've never felt better in my life.

As far as idea what he does with his time. Don't care. I rarely think about him outside the logistics of finances. Amazing how the heart and brain can completely let go of something that consumed your thoughts for 2 decades.

Life is so stinking good.

traicionada posted 9/24/2018 11:05 AM

Woohoo! I bet you feel a thousand pounds lighter

imagoodwitch posted 9/24/2018 11:15 AM


FaithFool posted 9/24/2018 12:15 PM

Congratulations! It boggles my mind sometimes when I think of how his shit used to send me reaching for the Ativan...

Superesse posted 9/24/2018 12:15 PM

Thanks for sharing, and glad you arrived.... It gives us all hope. 20 years of a bad marriage can seem like a lot of time to shelve. Half of your life, one third of mine. You just gave us hope, that once we have made the tough decisions needed to get out of Infidelity, there can be peace and contentment!

I think that is better than "mehhh"!

Phoenix1 posted 9/24/2018 13:58 PM

Ain't it grand??

Welcome to the Land of Indifference!

max2018 posted 9/24/2018 15:26 PM

DeeplyCrushed posted 9/24/2018 17:29 PM

WTB, all I can say is yaaaaaaaaaay!

So happy for you and I thank you for your super encouraging post.

I'm doing really good but, to be honest, haven't gotten to meh. Not yet, not quite.

WhoTheBleep posted 9/24/2018 20:09 PM

Well I'm not quite meh about finances. I need to keep the bitch boots on for that. But I've detached completely emotionally. Like FaithFool stated, I can't believe how unglued I was all the time trying to make him happy, and prove I'm a good person, and try to negate all the horrible things he said about me. It's that stuff (and his personal life) that I'm mehh about. I see it so clearly, as the crazy rantings of a mentally ill person. And I've moved on and cannot be bothered. At all.

It is bliss...

WhoTheBleep posted 9/24/2018 20:11 PM

Oh, and the taxes? What a cluster fuck. Smoke and mirrors and all sorts of fluff and crap. I don't even know what I'm looking at.

Meeting with atty tomorrow to review. Yay.

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