Have been in NC for 8 months! Yay me.
I need to vent:
I HATE him so much. He lied to the utility company. I am now making payments. He has tons of money, I am living off of my savings and small amount of money I make teaching classes.
He is such a piece of sh**. I am furious. I'm furious because he seems to have control with the property settlement. He just doesn't want to pay and is prolonging it. I'm sooooo in debt with my lawyer.
And I'm sad. I'm sad that my youngest DD is being influenced by him. I'm sad that my body feels like it is breaking down. I just want to get out of this f***ing country. I'm stuck, yes it feels like I am stuck in Australia. I just want to go home to Canada.
There is so much that I have to do before that happens. And unfortunately I am dealing with a liar, a cheat and a thief. As if getting divorced isn't hard enough.
I hate this country. I hate everything about being here today. I also hate my life in this moment.
It's all so unfair!!!! He cheats and I am the one who has to do so much physical work to prep the house for sale, to figure out sooo many things to make the move back home.
How can such a piece of sh** get away with so much? I hope he rots in hell. Surely there must be a seperate corner for cheaters.
I'm so mad. My body aches. My to do list just keeps getting longer. I don't want to work anymore. I have to though. I'm just feeling really, really negative and sad, and alone. I feel so damn alone right now.
I'm so exhausted from all of this. I have been trying to do all the 'right things' to stay well. I just feel at the end of my rope. I can't seem to get any comfort for myself. My usual tools are just not working today.
I never thought I could fully hate someone so much. So deeply. And the anger! Oh the anger that I don't know what to do with cause I don't have the energy to even get angry!!
I'm finding it hard to see the light today.