SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Just Found Out

um87 posted 12/24/2018 06:57 AM

Thanks You for your replies !

Today is the day I had discovered the full extent of the affair. It's been a year today. My worst Year ever. :(

Guam and the Dominican Republic won't help as they won't be legal here.

After researching on the topic came to know that, I/We must reside there for the law of the other country to be applicable and for it's validity in our home country too.

So the option is to either look for employment or study opportunity out side my country and after at least a 6 months or an year in that country start with divorce proceedings there- that way it would be considered valid in my home country also.

The thing is I am well settled (have a good business up and running) here and would have to start from scratch. But due to the lack of options seems, will have to leave my country for at least 2-3 years.

WilliamM posted 12/24/2018 10:50 AM

You say you now know the full extent of the affair? Is it still ongoing? If not, when did it end? What has your wife done to try and change your mind? How is she acting today?

The1stWife posted 12/26/2018 04:17 AM

If you cannnot leave your country then just start the D proceedings.

Make it difficult for her to continue to live with you.

Do not pay her bills or financially support her beyond a residence. Don’t talk or engage with her. Don’t pretend to be her H. Tell her family and yours of your plans and why.

um87 posted 12/31/2018 07:22 AM

Hello Everyone,

WilliamM- By full extent of the affair i meant realizing that it had been on going from more than last two years and not a one off/ one night stand instance. They had not done it only "thrice" (which i sincerely believed in the initial days) etc. She is a very accomplished Liar - which again i did not knew and assumed her to be very innocent and honest person.
Currently I believe she is not in contact with the guy. She acts/tells/shows to me that she is sorry and we should move on, as already 12 months have passed since the D day.

The1stWife- We don't talk/engage much. I don't consider her to be my wife. It's just that we live in the same house. I return from work, have dinner and then maybe watch some movie/T.V(mostly to avoid conversation) and sleep. We no more talk about things like - how our day went or any other professional failures or successes or plans etc. We use separate blankets although share the same bed. She is more of a room mate to me now. She is a full time home maker. Her elder sister is pregnant and off work. So she she spends most of her time talking to her sister and two of her girl friends. She at times puts the phone on speaker when i am around to make me believe that she is only talking to one of her girl friends. The telling the family is what I am planning now.

Once, again thanks to all for reading out and supporting !!

[This message edited by um87 at 7:34 AM, December 31st (Monday)]