SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Those are all very understandable feelings, Bulwark. There is a tremendous amount of pain and grief that come with this kind of betrayal. It's a huge trauma and loss, and society doesn't give us the space to grieve the way it does with more typical bereavement. Keeping a straight face through the rest of your day - for work, for your kids - is a huge feat. You're doing really well under the circumstances.

I functioned so poorly the first several months that I had to ask for a six month extension on a major deadline for my work. In the end, I had to tell the person in charge what I was going through, and that was super awkward, but they were (thankfully) understanding. If your situation isn't so flexible, can you call out sick for a few days? Unfortunately there's no way out but through. Hang in there!

Bulwark,

Do NOT beat yourself up over those feelings. That are so natural. What your wife is doing is cruel and harmful beyond understanding.

Allow yourself to feel. Get a trusted family member or friend to talk those things out. Or a good Betrayal Trauma Specialist.

She is not a friend to you. She is like an entrenched enemy, shooting missiles your way. With this sort of offensive, out in the open disrespect...I really think you should get your lawyer to expedite things. It will be good for your mental health.

I am so sorry for this horrible experience.🙏

I cannot understand someone who takes a loving, faithful, capable partner. One whom she openly admits attraction to, still says she loves, and enjoyed sex with; and then devastates them in such a fashion.

This gave me a flashback to when I was melting down one day over my wife still talking to her AP. I accused her of being in love with him. She looked at me and said "No. We're just friends... with benefits."

All that while telling me that she she still loved me, was attracted to me and wanted to stay married.

What an awful experience. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this man. Just stay strong and stick to your guns.