Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 12:23 PM on Friday, March 14th, 2025
Nothing easy with what you are dealing with.
This is a positive update. I do want to warn you about a couple of things:
For one, do your best to make your wife realize that honesty is key. Like... if OM tries to contact her, she needs to let you know. If she wants to contact him, she needs to share that desire with you. She has second doubts – she needs to let you know...
Another is that trust is gone. You both need to realize that. She needs to accept it, and that for quite some time she needs to be open about her social media, phone, agenda... You too need to realize that WITH TIME you can let your guard down – reestablish some trust.
You both need to want to move on. This is not done quickly, nor by ignoring the issues.
I wish you the best on your journey.
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus
Icedover84 ( member #82901) posted at 2:32 PM on Friday, March 14th, 2025
Pilusan, I know I'm a little late to the response, but I do think you should tell your boss. I was about two weeks out from D-Day and I was a ghost at work. There in body, but not in soul. He noticed my deteriorating physical condition as well as the deterioration of my quality of work and asked me if everything was ok. I had to tell him. I'm glad I did, because he gave me a grace period to get my life back on track. It helped that he had gone through a divorce fairly recently because his wife left him for an old flame.
You can't hide from this, and I think you should actually make sure everyone knows what she did. She should be okay with this, since she's the reason for it.
gr8ful ( member #58180) posted at 5:04 PM on Friday, March 14th, 2025
OP,
Please ask your wife to inform both sets of parents exactly what she did. This is NOT to punish her, as some on this board mistakenly feel, but instead to help hold your wife accountable moving forward, and just as importantly, give you the support you need.
If she’s in any way remorseful, she’ll do it. If she’s pushes back, you know she’s really just concerned about herself, and not you.
[This message edited by gr8ful at 5:05 PM, Friday, March 14th]
