SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I haven't posted in years with my own troubles, but I can't seem to tell if my fww's attitude over the last several months are some sort of depression or another A, or desire to A. I had to ask her and it wasn't well received. She insisted that she is not A or pre-A. I have no proof to the contrary other than an eerily similar attitude that I haven't seen in years. There are a few random pics of male coworkers and I have put my guard down over the years but I didn't suspect any unhealthy relationships.

She apologized for everything she has ever done to hurt me and wishes she could be a better person but it is followed by sulking and then right back to a constant and uncomfortable arrogance. I suggested she see a physician or a therapist but she declines. Then I asked her if we could go to MC. She said we already tried that so she didn't think it would do any good. That was more than 10 years ago so I was very perplexed.

I know I need to do either IC and/or MC. I feel like I need to make MC a condition of M vs D. I don't want to spend my golden years sick to my stomach. I don't think she is in an A, but my gut tells me she is full-on pre-A. I'd rather D than live like this.

I don't know that I have any questions, I just needed someplace safe to vent. I have no one IRL to discuss this and just needed to be heard. Thanks for listening. I wish all of you peace as you navigate your relationships.

Have you told her that her behavior is the same and has you questioning? Not only about an A, but whether or not you should D?

Have you told her that her behavior is the same and has you questioning? Not only about an A, but whether or not you should D?

I did. It didn't really phase her much. She just apologized for everything she has ever put me through. Even though she was crying a little, I didn't feel it. She said she didn't want to D, and she wants to grow old together. But, it's almost like her mind is always somewhere else. I've asked more lovingly a few times in the last several months, but she always insisted that she is ok. This time though, she was acting like a victim and almost wanted to argue before I told her that it would be better for us to D than to go down that path again. She won't open up to me much anymore. Maybe one day a week at the most. The rest of the time she treats me like a shitty roommate.

Apologies. I forgot about the rule about posting to a venting thread.

[This message edited by ff4152 at 12:23 PM, Saturday, September 7th]

Good to know you're still around, but sorry you're dealing with this.