Topic is Sleeping.
Groot1988 (original poster member #84337) posted at 8:22 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2024
I am back!
How do you all feel after marriage counseling sessions?
I do not like to drive to with mh H there or back. I ask him to drive separate because afterwards even after a decent session I flood.
Unfortunately we drove together a few weeks ago and I regret it. When we got closer to home I lost it on him out of the blue , I’m guessing talking about it for an hour does some things to my brain. At first he didn’t understand why being in the car with him was not good because we drive together other places. Once I explained it to him he said he understood and we drive separate. Our bank account doesn’t love it because it’s about a half hour away and gas isn’t cheap but being in the car with him makes me want to hurt him 
Sometimes I have to go to the gym after or do something to keep me busy.
I’m assuming some of yall feel this way too? Any suggestions for those who do go together, how to cope with being together after?or is it just time? Sometimes after sessions he gets almost happy, hopeful and yall know me on here by now, I can’t let him feel that way so why not just shovel shit at him 
Married 5 years (together 11) Four children Me Bs 36Him WH 35- 4 month PA Dday Oct 6- lots of TT final disclosure Jan 16.
"If we walk through hell we might as well hold hands, we should make this a home"- citizen soldier
emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 9:07 PM on Wednesday, April 10th, 2024
Hi Groot,
I don't have time to do a longer post right now but I recently wrote a long-ish response to Cool on his post about Is something similar about my post-MC experiences that touched on this to Cool in his post entitled "Is R homework unnecessary punishment.." in the R forum. It touches on how uncomfortable I found MC from time to time, and how I'd often get upset afterwards.
Save for the time I stormed off, we typically travelled together afterwards as there was usually a fair bit to unpack. Things were not always hunky dory though. I'm slighly worried you associate emotionality with needing to escape entirely though. I understand there are times where this is necessary but I do think there is benefit in working through it together.
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
Groot1988 (original poster member #84337) posted at 12:05 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2024
Thank you emergent. I’ll read it!
Married 5 years (together 11) Four children Me Bs 36Him WH 35- 4 month PA Dday Oct 6- lots of TT final disclosure Jan 16.
"If we walk through hell we might as well hold hands, we should make this a home"- citizen soldier
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 2:10 AM on Thursday, April 11th, 2024
I'm weird. I always loved MC... except for DDay in the MC's office. That sucked. (Understatement of the century.) But we always rode together. And we rode home together that day, too. I don't remember it. It must have been TENSE.
We used to go by the soccer fields on our way home, sit on the bleachers, and process the things that we had talked about in MC.
I was mindful of trying not to shit on him and purposeful in some of my actions. Sometimes I'd lose my shit, but most of the time I stretched my empathy muscle and imagined how it must feel to be in his shoes - the bad guy facing the music.
Gasping for air while volunteering to give others CPR is not heroic.
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
Topic is Sleeping.
