Was driving a co-worker home yesterday and she asked me if I've ever been married. Well that took the whole ride to explain... 
I pretty much hibernate all winter so don't socialize much, and it's been awhile since I told the whole story to anyone. She kept saying holy shit I'm so sorry and I kept saying it's fine, I'm over it.
And folks, I really am!
But going through the retelling was interesting.
- How we'd just bought what was supposed to be our forever house.
- How we got into a $60K line of credit doing renos that went over budget.
- How he brought his squeeze-of-the-month to it to smudge it with sweetgrass and tobacco before getting a blowjob out back in the greenhouse.
- How it was right across the street from where I worked at the time.
- How they carried on the A at the campus radio station where I was taking classes at the time.
- How he gave me an STD and I got horribly sick from the antibiotics I had to take.
- How she messaged me telling me what a fool I was not to know he'd been at it for so long.
- How she showed up at a three-week artist residency in the mountains a few years later and I didn't kick her ass in public.
- How I had to eventually kick him out the spring after we moved in.
- How I put spyware on his laptop and saw every keystroke for two years after that.
- How I agonized for another year about whether to sell in a downturn or rent out to international students, but I was too fucked up mentally to be a landlady.
- How I had to live in a motel over Christmas after my mum passed away because the windows blew out of my new condo in a storm.
- How my older siblings all turned on me and got the knives out over the estate because we'd had a share in my mum's house when we lived together (something none of the others ever wanted to do).
- How I had a crazy dream about an earthquake pushing me out of the condo into thin air, and the next day found my perfect rental apartment on Craigslist.
- How my new place was on a street halfway between where my mum passed and a house with the same name as the house she had all her kids in in Ireland.
- How I believe someone is watching over me at all times.
She asked how old I was when it all imploded and I said 55. She said that was Saturn on a second transit through my life (it apparently happens every 27.5 years) and apparently it's a big housecleaning event where everything burns down and you start fresh.
So for those of you struggling with things right now, just know it won't always be awful. Would I still like to have that house that's worth double now? Sure, that would have been nice, but things don't always work out as you planned. The good thing is that springtime and lilacs don't trigger me anymore, it's one of my favourite seasons now.
Onward.
DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire
