We have not had many ws’s stay around after divorce that I can recall. There was a young couple here years ago, I can’t remember their screen names but they had a young daughter. Both of them were ws, and they both continued therapy and to post sporadically after it happened. I am sure someone else remembers them and could point you in the direction of their posts. Oh and the other fellow- he had an affair with a transgender prostitute? I can’t remember names. He continued on in therapy and posting here for at least a year after his divorce.
I don’t know that every wayward needs tons of therapy. Not every situation is as complicated as the next. I had weekly therapy for a few months, then it dropped to bi-weekly maybe a few months , and then went to monthly for 4-5 longer. I can’t remember precisely. I went in for maintenance a few times after that and we had MC.
For me, therapy planted seeds of self awareness, skills to develop, and understanding of being intentional and mindful. But I did the majority of the work outside of therapy. Posting here, pushing myself to try many different things, researching what works for other people, practicing, failing, reading.
I guess what I am saying is therapy is only what you make of it. It’s definitely not a cure. The ones who will continue to work genuinely are self motivated. And I also think the self motivated often end up staying married. Not always, not a given, but the infidelity is the initial trauma. Whether it goes to R or D often has a lot to do with what happens after.
I suspect there is a correlation of people stopping at divorce with therapy and being falsely remorseful as suggested. But I think other factors can play into that as well- your finances change, added responsibility and upheaval.
[This message edited by hikingout at 5:27 AM, Thursday, March 21st]
