I have gone on a few dates and met some genuine people. One clicked more than the others so I spent more time with him. But instinctively not the one. So is it worth continuing seeing this person since we have fun together or friend zone him since that is the category I see us in?
Also while I have enjoyed the process thus far; I also dislike the process. My emotions are opening up again and feelings are coming back. It seems cruel somehow that I’m meeting good people and getting glimpses of lil pieces of love and connection, but oh haha that’s not meant for you.
For instance, one is such a superb soul, but no attraction. ✅ move on
One has connection, attraction, comfortableness, but has issues. ✅ move on
One is a solid person but has a young kid ✅ move on.
I feel sadder being opened up to what love and connection could be after not having it for sooo long and then realizing"this is not meant for you." I’m walking through a minefield of lost hopes and dreams to find what I’m looking for. And even though it is early days, it feels impossible to ever find that which I seek.
I have big dreams and hopes and want to pursue them with gusto. While my life is great and fulfilling as it is, the truth is the big dream, the big hope is to have LOVE again. Aargh just typing that stirs up so much. Just to admit that is tough. But it’s true and I’m so afraid it’s not going to exist for me. That I went through so much shit in my marriage, found the courage and strength to remove myself from a terrible situation to only discover I’m free!
Freedom is great, but I want more. So do I just keep going? Or should I take a break from dating and regroup? Maybe I’m not quite ready and just focus on keep working on myself?
