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Newest Member: DCS72

New Beginnings :
Question For The Men. I want to know what you think of this.

Topic is Sleeping.
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1345Marine ( member #71646) posted at 4:24 AM on Thursday, December 14th, 2023

Your post made me smile inside. My 2 cents, in my experience a lot of men are aware that women get hit on regularly, and a lot of men feel like they're just "another annoying skirt chaser" trying to initiate anything romantic or flirtatious with a woman. So a decent amount of men are held at bay just by that, especially if they're not exceptionally attractive, just average looking men. They don't want to face rejection or be perceived as "creepy" irritations. So they don't initiate, even if they otherwise would want to.
If a woman is interested and takes the initiative to make that known, that's incredibly refreshing. But that's all you need to do. Don't be poetic. You don't need to woo him. If he's interested at all, that's unnecessary and may scare him off (but if things go well, please do tell him and be poetic with it just like you stated once you're inside his inner circle). At first, just tell him simply that you're interested. If he is, that's all it'll take. If he isn't, there's no special way you could express it that would make him interested. Absolutely go for it. Ask that man out for a coffee date. Just do it very simply and directly. If he's interested, he will say yes and then start taking initiative walking through the door you very clearly opened for him. If he's not interested, no way you express your interest will woo or convince him. Just be direct and simple. I wish you the best and hope good things for you.

posts: 114   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: Eastern US
id 8818249
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standinghere ( member #34689) posted at 8:22 AM on Thursday, December 14th, 2023

"I would like to get to know you better. Here's my number (pre-written on a piece of paper). Give me a call if you're interested in going to grab coffee some time."

I'm a guy.

What you are suggesting is fine. Either way, slip of paper, or just say it. If you are nervous/awkward feeling about it, be up front and tell him that, from the get go, because he is likely to feel similar and it can ease some of the tension.

If you really don't know what to say, say that as well.

However, I would prefer that the person offer to pay for my coffee! grin

My wife asked me out, right before I was going to ask her out she called my workplace. She said she was sweating profusely it made her so nervous that her armpits were "dripping".

FBH - Me - Betrayal in late 30's (now much older)
FWS - Her - Affair in late 30's (now much older )
4 Children
Her - Love of my life...still is.
Reconciled BUT!

posts: 1700   ·   registered: Jan. 31st, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 8818255
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WontBeFooledAgai ( member #72671) posted at 6:52 PM on Friday, December 15th, 2023

Hi, OP, I may have been a bit more pessimistic in my writing than I intended. I think a "I'd like to get to know you better, here's my number" (but not much more than that) is not only fine, but great.

[This message edited by WontBeFooledAgai at 6:56 PM, Friday, December 15th]

posts: 1036   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2020
id 8818531
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OptionedOut ( member #69105) posted at 5:00 PM on Friday, January 26th, 2024

I am not a guy, but...

First, what an incredibly beautiful sentiment. One you might want to save for later.

Might I suggest that when you see him again, tell him that you enjoyed the conversation with him and that you'd love to hear more. Would he be interested in coffee or lunch? Then, at lunch, hand him part of that compliment. Tell him that you really enjoy conversing with him - that the talks are comfortable and easy and that you enjoyed the lunch very much. Would he be open to a date?

But damn if that sentiment isn't straight out of a movie. Beautiful.

posts: 278   ·   registered: Dec. 12th, 2018   ·   location: USA
id 8822565
Topic is Sleeping.
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