Jayjay, You have great value yourself as a fellow human being.
This an awful time for you. You can count on recovering if you let yourself ride the waves of your feelings. Yes, they need you - not for what you do for them but because you're you.
I faced the abyss 25 years ago. On of the 2 main things that kept me alive was knowing that my W and son were certain to believe my unwillingness to live was due to some failure on their part, and nothing could be further from the truth.
Above all, though is what I started with: you have value. Don't deprive the world of you.
Keep checking in, bro. We care about you. My bet is that many of us would sit with you, listen, and share if we could. so keep posting, partly to be heard and partly because we care.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
