SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I’m not going to post my whole story here, I’ve already posted it on the Just Found Out forum, if anyone is interested.
Last night I reached out to a woman who I was pretty certain had an interest in me. I dumped my story on her and she invited me over to talk and have a drink.
We ended up in bed.
It did not make me feel any better. I just feel worse.
I don’t know if my wife knows anything, but she is acting very strange and was clearly crying this morning. I’m not trying to reconcile with her so I suppose it doesn’t make any difference. I did it simply for revenge so I could hurt her the way she’s hurt me.

Welcome to the wayward side. You’ve officially joined the MH club.

The shitty thing about revenge affairs is that they ultimately end up hurting you the most. Not minimizing her pain, at all! Just, you have to now live with the fact that you’re no better than she is or anyone else posting in this forum really. You’ve lost your moral high ground and clearly have lost your self respect. That, on top of your WW A, has you now eating a triple decker club sandwich of shit instead of the single decker one originally put on your plate by your WW.

Regardless of whether or not you are on the way to D, you’re technically still in a M with her.

And yes, your WW/BW likely knows.

MH is a smaller club around here, but we exist.

Also, now that you are a WH, you need to request the mods remove your post from HFO and either move it over here without a stop sign or to have it placed in General. Wayward spouses are not allowed to post in JFO.

Last night I reached out to a woman who I was pretty certain had an interest in me. I dumped my story on her and she invited me over to talk and have a drink.
We ended up in bed.

First off, I'm genuinely sorry that you find yourself here as a madhatter (MH) now. I read through your other thread and clearly being a betrayed husband was very tough on you.

However, the post that I quoted is a clear example of wayward mentality. You reached out to her because you were certain she had interested in you and she invited you over for a drink, an invite which you readily accepted. The sentence "we ended up in bed" seems to suggest a more passive voice as if it was just happening to you, but that isn't really the case, is it? You decided that you wanted to hurt your wife and you deliberately and intentionally sought out a readily accessible woman to bed. You mentioned that you dumped your story on her and I would be willing to bet that you worked some comments in the story that indicated to her that you were willing to go to bed with her.

The unfortunate part of all this is that you are already saying it makes you feel worse, which is what all of us here on SI could've told you would happen. You betrayed your wife, yes, but the first person you betrayed is yourself. Are you in therapy? If not, I would suggest that you start looking for a therapist to help you deal with all the different betrayal issues that you have going on. Whether your reconcile or divorce, you need to work on your own healing and understanding yourself and why you betrayed yourself.

I don’t know if my wife knows anything, but she is acting very strange and was clearly crying this morning. I’m not trying to reconcile with her so I suppose it doesn’t make any difference. I did it simply for revenge so I could hurt her the way she’s hurt me.

You say you did it to make her suffer, but you can't accomplish that goal if she isn't aware you cheated. Can you help me understand this? If the point was really just to hurt her, why are you avoiding the big reveal?