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Wayward Side :
I am scared

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 Iwanttochange (original poster new member #80598) posted at 12:56 AM on Sunday, November 20th, 2022

I am not scared for me. I am scared of losing my wife. Our family. Our life together.

Before I start if you want to read and reply. I can’t spell properly. And I don’t understand the abbreviated stuff so please reply with full words.

I’m male 42. Wife is female 40. Married 17 years. Wife was 16 when we started dating. I was 18.

It took use ruffly 5-6year to legally get married and those years were a roller coaster of emotions. We had open relationships. We broke up numerous times. Then when we had our first child we said to each other. " that stuff is all over now. We have a child to look after. No more bullshit ". And then when we were pregnant with child no two we found out we could now legally get married and we did.

We had a girl then a boy. We were happy. I worked on the land. And I didn’t even think about other woman. Then I started truck driving and I started flerting with other women. And it started going down hill from there.

Long story short. For the last 10 years I have fully cheated ones. Been on sex web sites. Chated up lots of woman. Sent out x rated picks of myself.at one stage I had a burner phone so I wouldn’t get court Left my wife and kids for another woman. And the only way my wife found out on numerous time was not from me. Each time I was able to convince my wife to come back to me.

We have had another baby girl thinking it might help.

I have now told her everything. All the bad. I know that if I don’t "fix" myself that she won’t take me back anymore. This is it. I am on my last leg.

It has been aprox 1 year since my last mishap. I have gorn to the doctor and had a test. I have read a couple of couple books. My wife and I have been on here for some time now. She has full access to my phone computer. Everything in my life is fully open to here. She came follow my phone on her phone and I tell here what I’m doing and where I’m going. At all times.
I simply don’t talk to other woman unless I really need to. I honestly think Im a sex addict. But my wife thinks that is just an excuse. Witch is probably true.

Now my wife is an awesome woman for putting up with me for all these years but she is at the end of her tether. "No more or it’s over" She can’t trust me anymore. She triggers on everything. Our love for each other is the only thing holding use together. At one stage she told me if it wasn’t for the kids she contemplated killing her self.

We still make love on occasion. We hold hands. I always hold the door for her. We sleep together in the same bed. I try to help her as much as I can. Some days are good. But some days are bad and all I want to do is just hold her.

We need help. We believe in family and sticking together though Thick and thin. Good and bad. And want to fix the the big fuck up I have done to this family.

Any feed back would be appreciated. We don’t believe in counselling. The money put on counselling puts more pressure on things.

I want to be the man she thought I was …………..

posts: 1   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2022   ·   location: Bundaberg QLD
id 8766013
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straightup ( member #78778) posted at 10:07 AM on Sunday, November 20th, 2022

G’day.

Some of the regulars should be along soon and hopefully will flag some good articles to read. You will see Maia’s survival guide. Read that. Some of Daddy Dom’s posts longer posts are also very good.

If you are looking for how to translate some of the advice to an Australian context, like how to get some counseling from a psychologist, subsidized by Medicare, I can be of some help there. You need to go to your GP, they will do a plan, and you should get about 5 sessions with a psychologist with about 2/3 paid for. It will be individual counseling. In my case I was having problems sleeping, and a bit depressed, which was enough of a medical reason.

What books have you read so far?

[This message edited by straightup at 10:11 AM, Sunday, November 20th]

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
Mother Teresa

posts: 173   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2021   ·   location: Australia
id 8766043
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ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 8:30 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2022

First off, don't worry about your spelling. It's not important. For some of the people who post here, English isn't even their first language, so we are all accustomed to making allowances for writing styles. No worries.

Next, if you look in the pull down menu above, you can pull down a tab for abbreviations in The Healing Library which will help you figure out the terms. I would suggest reading as much as you can. Not every idea will hit home with you, but take them out for a spin anyway. An infidelity crisis is a crossroads in your life, a good time to really question your preprogrammed philosophy.

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)Married 38 years; in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 6167   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8766085
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