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Newest Member: Crushedafter46years

Divorce/Separation :
Nine months

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 Helena67 (original poster new member #80506) posted at 6:50 PM on Friday, November 4th, 2022

It is almost nine months ago that I confronted my husband with my suspicions and he admitted having an affaire with a coworker. And I’m sad. So much has happened in these nine months. I kicked him out. He came home. False reconciliation. A time out. And now we are divorcing. Just wanted to share my pain.

BS (me) 55 years; WS 54 years.
24 years married.
D day 6-2-2022.
Divorcing.

I’m healing and I’m growing

posts: 48   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2022   ·   location: The Netherlands
id 8763672
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fareast ( Guide #61555) posted at 7:05 PM on Friday, November 4th, 2022

You have been heard! Your WH has put you on a very painful rollercoaster. But you are doing so well. I know you miss him, but in time you will realize you only miss the illusion of what you thought he was. You will get through this with your integrity and honor in tact. He will never be able claim integrity or honor again. Sending you strength.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3354   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8763674
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 Helena67 (original poster new member #80506) posted at 8:39 PM on Friday, November 4th, 2022

Thank you Fareast. I thought I was feeling a little bit better. I guess the nine month mark hit me out of nowhere. It is after all a true rollercoaster.

BS (me) 55 years; WS 54 years.
24 years married.
D day 6-2-2022.
Divorcing.

I’m healing and I’m growing

posts: 48   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2022   ·   location: The Netherlands
id 8763690
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Henny ( member #31345) posted at 9:59 PM on Friday, November 4th, 2022

10 years divorced a week or so ago. It gets better but man o man, it was bad. I hear you and I am so very sorry for your pain.

A mantra I had sometimes when like this, "My world is bigger than his $%&@." It was and still is.

That roller coaster stuff is real. Feel it all cuz the feelings are yours. I understand. I had a false reconciliation, too. I wasn’t feeling it from him at all because I stopped the heavy lifting. I was emotionally exhausted.

Do all the things right now that make you feel good. Mani pedi, massage, spas, being w those you love deeply and who love you back deeply. Move towards love and away from the person/situations that hurt.

Ask for 90 days no contact if you need that. Do boatloads of you.

It will get better. It will take time.

Hugs to you!

[This message edited by Henny at 10:01 PM, Friday, November 4th]

DDay Feb 26 2011
27 yrs M
11+ yrs of cheating (in love with two women!) Proclaiming he wanted a poly lifestyle.
in the end... My world is bigger than his shit.
Divorced Oct 2012
"Nothing is going to work out and it will all be

posts: 120   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: Chicago
id 8763710
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 Helena67 (original poster new member #80506) posted at 1:23 PM on Saturday, November 5th, 2022

Thank you for your encouragement, Henny!

BS (me) 55 years; WS 54 years.
24 years married.
D day 6-2-2022.
Divorcing.

I’m healing and I’m growing

posts: 48   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2022   ·   location: The Netherlands
id 8763780
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