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Newest Member: Goku06

General :
Soft 180 for MH's?

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emergent8 ( member #58189) posted at 8:33 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

I'm sorry, I had trouble focusing on the rest of your post because this stuck out to me:

H explained that at his last lunch with J and friends, she was pulling out her card to pay from the wallet and the card came out of the purse with it. She flung it at him saying, "Here! You take it!" angrily as that was the place she hated going to with her BF.

Do you believe this???? If this is true, why wouldn't he just throw it out? Why would he keep it in a special place where he kept his other trophies (the watch). A place that he tells you to stay out of..... and upon you finding it, all of a sudden he is immediately conciliatory and all of a sudden NOW he finally agrees that the relationship is unhealthy.

I could be totally off base here, and I've said it before but.... Girl....All that quacking sounds an awful lot like a duck.

Me: BS, Him: WS. Mid-late 30s.
Together 15 years, married 6 (11 m at D-Day).
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
5 years (and two toddlers) into R. Happy.

posts: 986   ·   registered: Apr. 7th, 2017
id 8756422
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 MIgander (original poster member #71285) posted at 9:20 PM on Wednesday, September 21st, 2022

Yeah, I hear what you're saying emergent.

The thing is, he was physically with me the whole time she was in TC. He was texting her... which makes it an EA. I don't think he could take it to PA and still be able to maintain the high moral ground he's on. Except if he did the whole, "look what you made me did" thing.

I believe that he wasn't physically intimate with her. BUT, I know he's been having an EA at the very least. H doesn't see it that way, he doesn't see any of his "friendships" as EA's, but... when you're comparing your wife in a consistently negative way to another woman, wanting your wife to be more like other women, spending time texting a younger attractive woman... lying about it... covering it up... but then grateful when you're caught? And relieved that you finally understand how she is unhealthy for you... shaking my head.

He's making progress in recognizing his behavior as damaging to me (from the lovely hangover I've lived with from my dad's blatant A with a family friend), damaging to our M (really, how can you expect your wife to want to "try harder to be more like woman X" when you're constantly using woman X as the example of what you're failing to provide him) and unhealthy for him (weird obsession with keeping texting her).

He dumped 2 of her calls the other day when poor wittle baby-waby was suffering the natural effects of a full face lasering, complete with burns, peels and pain. WAH WAH. She posted on Snapchat instead and he laughed at her pic.

Got H to see that J is unhealthy and he needs to NC her. Now it's a matter of seeing whether he actually follows through. If not, well, again, I'm not going to invest much energy into a person that is putting his energy elsewhere.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 841   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8756428
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 12:48 AM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

The thing is, he was physically with me the whole time she was in TC. He was texting her... which makes it an EA. I don't think he could take it to PA and still be able to maintain the high moral ground he's on. Except if he did the whole, "look what you made me did" thing.

Ummm....

So my xwh was banging on about how "honest" he was up until the day we separated when I stopped giving two flying fucks. Yeah he felt he was "honest" and a "decent guy" even after he fucked his 18 yo AP in my bed. Point being they can maintain whatever mental ground they want when they Lie to themselves and everyone else.

Also just saying, I've eaten/had drinks in plenty of hotel bars and never, not one time, have I "accidentally" walked away with a hotel key.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3561   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: CO
id 8756458
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 MIgander (original poster member #71285) posted at 2:21 AM on Thursday, September 22nd, 2022

Yeah, thing is, this hotel was about 250mi from us and he was with me that night and at a work lunch in Auburn Hills when he came home with it. H literally hasnt been away from us long enough to drive 4hrs there and another 4hrs back.

But yeah, its shady as fuck that this chick flung it at H at the last lunch they went to.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 841   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8756474
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