Fellow teacher here. I feel for you. After D-day#1, I took a medical leave. Lucky I had 15 years of banked sick days. I hated being away from work.
Mess and IC really helped, as did insane amount of exercise. For the first year or two, I could not concentrate enough to get through more than 15 minutes of a movie or show. I could manage to read as long as it was a self-help book or something related to infidelity. I was obsessive in my search for that single puzzle piece that would bring clarity to my situation. It doesn't exist, at least not in the way I had hoped.
I had to resolve myself with the conclusion that far more people than I had assumed, were just shitty human beings. And shit people do shit things. I also became rather selfish, putting my needs first. This took work and still does, but it is liberating, especially for people pleasers. It took time, but the biggest piece of advice that helped was one given to me by a monk. I am not my emotions;I simply experience them. Hence, I am not lonely, but simply experiencing the feeling a loneliness, which is a temporary state. After I am done with that,I will experience a different emotion.
I know it sounds simple, but it has helped me recognize the impermanence of any current situation, and that simple idea has gotten me through some pretty dark nights.
Stay strong and keep your eyes facing front. I know it feels like you won't get through this, but you will and you now have an opportunity to become a much better version of yourself.
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
