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ZetaCephei (original poster member #79378) posted at 11:15 PM on Tuesday, January 4th, 2022
Tallgirl and Hurtmyheart, thank you for your thoughts. I agree he is not to be trusted yet and I am well aware that everything he is doing right now could just be temporary, to calm me down, to make me feel safe again, so that he could continue with his affairs. I don't get why he would want both, especially now, when he saw the devastation of his actions. If he wants to be with her, he can just leave, I told him so on many occasions and he knows me well enough to know, I wouldn'tbe causing him any problems with the divorce or with custody for the children. But then again, I don't understand anything he has been doing in the past 10 years, so anything is possible. Still, I feel I need to give us one last chance. I love him and I just need to see if our relationship can be saved. Because of the 20 great years we had together before his affairs and because I belive he can be the man I fell in love with again. I could be wrong and maybe I am wasting more years on a lost cause, but I am willing to take that risk.
However, I plan to be careful and I appreciate your warnings. I have loved and trusted him for so long that I still tend to believe his words, even after a decade of lies and sometimes I have to remind myself he is not the person I thought he was. And an outside perspective is always welcome.
Me: BW, 45 at DDAy -- Him: WH, 45 at DDay -- 2 LTAs (2012-2021 and 2016-2021) + 4 ONS -- Dday1: July 2021 -- Dday2: September 2021 -- Just want to be happy again
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