Chaos (original poster member #61031) posted at 12:19 PM on Tuesday, October 12th, 2021
Well - I have an update. A few days ago WH and I went out and to kill some time before our event we wandered around a few shops. And...it was nice. We found ourselves discussing things we liked vs things we didn't [we have similar tastes]. Discussing things we'd want in our retirement vs things we didn't [we are planning to relocate]. We discussed memories of things we'd had in days gone by and things we want for the future. We smiled, laughed and held hands.
Somewhere in the middle of this I realized I felt a bit of joy return.
I also went out and about yesterday to take advantage of some sales and use some accumulated gift cards. Alone this time [except for my trusty coffee]. And...had a nice time. Found some amazing deals. Had one of those unicorn days where almost everything I tried on fit well.
So - this follow up says that there is hope. I posted this feeling at my lowest with this activity and once I purged it from myself into the Interwebs - BAM! You all responded. The Universe heard me. And I started to bounce back. I know every experience won't be sparkly or even warm and fuzzy. But I know it out there. And can happen again.
My heart grew a little bit over the weekend.
BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decadesChildren (1 still at home)Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBSBrandishing a sword, channeling my inner Inigo Montoya and saying "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"
HardKnocks ( member #70957) posted at 5:20 PM on Tuesday, October 12th, 2021
That's very good news, Chaos.
Processing is important and can free up space for other possibilities, feelings. A good reminder for when things look bleak in the future.
BW 30 year marriage.
DDay2 2/20 5 month PA
My Ducks are Aligned and I'm Good to Go! :)
WTAF ( new member #79274) posted at 10:08 PM on Tuesday, October 12th, 2021
So happy to hear that you are finding some joy and hope, Chaos
78monte ( member #72572) posted at 2:08 PM on Wednesday, October 13th, 2021
Making happy new memories with our spouse is very therapeutic. It doesn't erase what happened, but can sure help us through this stuff.
Nice update, Chaos.