SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

5 years ago July 3rd

Well not only is it D-day month it will also be our 35th anniversary. Things are going good and we enjoy spending time together however I thought we used to also. I don’t know if it’s normal but at year 3 through 4 I felt more connected than we have ever felt. This year (year 5) we are still good but the rose colored glasses are off. I see him for what he is a flawed human who will no longer be on a pedestal. I will never put up with his shit again yay me! We were “that couple” high school sweethearts, everyone wanted to be us, our kids bragged about our relationship… I don’t mean to sound like a Debbie Downer but if I was younger and not as financially secure as I am I would tell most to run!!! This shit sucks EVERYTHING from you. I don’t want to make it sound like it’s all doom and gloom really I do have a great life. We live in the Caribbean most of the time and are pretty much together all the time which isn’t easy for most but works for us. I probably wouldn’t advise younger couples to even try to reconcile its a shit ton of work and will be there the rest of your life. I don’t know maybe it’s just that time of year.

This shit sucks EVERYTHING from you

So true! I am in year 3. We have a 40 year marriage. And I have a good life right now with my husband. But at what cost to me as his infidelity will stay with me and him for the rest of our lives!

I have the knowledge and strength today to see what kind of man he is. And I have promised myself today that I will kick him out of my life for good, should he revert to his past toxic behaviours with me. I am drained yet I have hope, if this makes sense.

My D-day month is March. The time frame from January to March is a trigger for me. Every year. I've accepted that.

I wish you the very best, and I think it's just that time of the year maybe mixed in with a bit of nostalgia for pre-affair life you had ?

Hey, Sammi! We have a bit in common... July 3 was the date my H had a romantic day of hiking with OW followed by their first fuck, which also was 2 days after our 20th wedding anniversary. 7 years ago for me.

I agree that the rose colored glasses were irreparably crushed after I learned all he had done. I hope you are able to find enough about him that is likable and worthy of staying with him. Life is too short to settle. You sound strong and comfortable with your decision to stay. I hope he recognizes what a gift you have given him.

I also think that this month may be a trigger for your deeper negative feelings. This shit lives deep beneath the surface for many of us. And sometimes we just need to release a bit of it in a safe place such as this.

Fourth of July just brings out the affairs, doesn’t it? My WH had his his first time on 7/3 with his AP too.

I hate everything about this holiday.

Sammi, I’m on year 5 as well. We are doing pretty good and are pretty solid, but sometimes (especially around these kind of triggerery days) I wonder what life would’ve been like if I just would’ve divorced. I know I’m happier with him in the long run, I just get really pissy around this time of year.

I hope that’s all it is for you as well.