I sometimes contemplate basing all of my life-decisions on whatever tushnurse says…
One of the major leashes holding people back is fear of the unknown.
I am not going to suggest you divorce, but I am strongly suggesting you do what tushnurse tells you and consult with an attorney.
Do some research on what divorce would look like for you. IF you filed… what would happen? What is the likely outcome?
Right now IMHO you are facing two options:
Remaining in a comparable situation as you have been for the last year(s). Your H might stay closer to home for some months, but he won’t quit the golf-club. He will still insist the tracker is always on, but you will go crazy monitoring him all the time. He will still get drunk and insist the safest option was to stay somewhere else (rather than take a taxi home or get a ride or phone you to pick him up). He will still be pouty at any event if it doesn’t involve alcohol, golf, nekid women or fast cars…
This might even be something you could be OK with because you KNOW it.
You research divorce and no longer fear it. It’s a change, definitely, but you can accept it. Once you no longer fear the unknown (because it’s mostly known…) you finally have the tool that MIGHT make your husband change. Or not.. bottom line is that 2-3 years from now YOU will be happy with or without him.
I want to stress I’m not telling you to file. But once you know what D is… do the 180 knowing that it’s not only detaching, but also preparing you to act in accordance to his reactions. If he sees the 180 as a great reason to play more golf and stay out more nights… well… you have your answer.
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus