It's been a while. I've tried to pretend we were heading in the right direction and all we needed was time to rebuild trust. Now that trust has been broken again.
I recently discovered a new cache of nude photos in my WS's email and photo library. I initial got suspicious when I caught a quick glance a a chat that included a nude photo.
He was covering his tracks well but I eventually found part of the conversation. It was a scammer who was just out for cash but used real photos of someone else. WS explained he had the photos to prove they were a scammer but why almost 50 photos in different situations and poses? And why were they in multiple locations.
I also found that he had bought a digital gift card through PayPal. That could be suspicious but the kicker for me was when I found he had taken a photo of his computer screen proving he had bought gift card.
This transactions often go this way. Show me a photo. Send me money. No photo first. Proof of money first. So the gift card gets purchased and a photo showing it was purchased is shown then a taste is given until the cash arrives then hopefully the other person delivers all they promise.
He will probably claim he did that to keep them on the line hoping he would actually send it.
I hope no one thinks I'm being prudish about porn. I've never really approved of it but didn't stop my WS before but porn was the first step that led to the slippery slope that got us here and we have an agreement that he will not view it anymore.
I couldn't sleep last night and was thinking how I could check and verify there wasn't anything else and all the things I needed to do the next day to gather information on WS's activities again. I had slacked off on doing that daily and was focusing on normal activities more. But suddenly as I thought about all this I thought, I'm tired of living like this.
My options are to let him do as he pleases until he has enough rope to hang himself, continue to be the jail warden and check all the time or leave.
It is definitely time to take some steps.
I'm opening a new checking account tomorrow and having my paycheck deposited there. I will still pay bills but won't share my account info.
We are actually getting ready to sell out house. I'm packing during the day. Trying to get as much stuff out of the house before showings. I'm going to focus on packing the things I would take with me.
I'm also doing the 180. I have ignored all WS flirty texts today. He normal sends a few and I reply in kind. I would move out of our room if I had another room to go to but I will just have to keep my distance from him. I need to cook my own meals too. He has been cooking lately. I do all the other stuff except his laundry. I'll continue in that way since we are selling the house. I'm not going to join him when he asks me to go the store with him or go out to eat. Time to live as if I'm single (though no dating of course.)
[This message edited by HatsOff at 4:22 PM, June 3rd (Thursday)]