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General :
Happy Dday to me...

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 Jaybee2020 (original poster member #75201) posted at 7:22 AM on Sunday, April 18th, 2021

My first dday anniversary came and went. I had honestly hyped it up to be more in my mind than actuality. Dday started and ended just as fast as a fart in the wind. Nothing note worthy. I had taken this day off since last year because of all the intense emotions I was feeling at the time but now I'm like... why?

If I learned anything from this is that we (I) exaggerated the day more than it needed to be. I am either in R or I am not.

Kind of a short post but to anyone who is not a year out yet from their (your) dday, all I can say is that whether you stay or leave, you will be fine.

Probably don't seem like it, I know I thought I wouldn't be, but it is... and you will be too

[This message edited by Jaybee2020 at 1:24 AM, April 18th (Sunday)]

[This message edited by Jaybee2020 at 7:24 AM, Sunday, April 18th]

BH:29
WW:27
On Dday
D-DAY: APRIL 15, 2020

posts: 86   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8651694
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Mustache ( new member #78657) posted at 7:25 AM on Sunday, April 18th, 2021

My D-Day was April 15, 2021.

An unfortunate anniversary we will share, but I hope to feel the way you do about it next year.

[This message edited by Mustache at 1:27 AM, April 18th (Sunday)]

[This message edited by Mustache at 7:27 AM, Sunday, April 18th]

posts: 25   ·   registered: Apr. 16th, 2021
id 8651695
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 Jaybee2020 (original poster member #75201) posted at 6:11 PM on Sunday, April 18th, 2021

Definitely sucks, but you are in the right place. In SI you will get lots of useful information as well as lot of bitter trolls pushing you to leave. At the end of the day, its up2 you in what you want.

Personally, (and this took a while) I chose happiness. Still working at it, but once I made that decision things have and are starting to line up.

You can't depend on others for your happiness, that has to come within. Take care of yourself, eat well, stay active, pick up a hobbies or two. The first year for me anyways seemed like an eternity.

Whether you are for R or D, chose yourself first

BH:29
WW:27
On Dday
D-DAY: APRIL 15, 2020

posts: 86   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8651739
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:02 PM on Monday, April 19th, 2021

I agree that sometimes we agonize about Dday and it turns out to be much less than we imagine.

That’s the good news.

How do you handle the triggers?

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14760   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8651844
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 Jaybee2020 (original poster member #75201) posted at 6:52 AM on Tuesday, April 20th, 2021

Well honestly not well. And what I mean is that it really depends on the day itself. If it starts out well then when I do get flooded I am able to stay above it. Mostly by reminding myself that I am the shit and have lots to offer lol. But if I wake up in a shitty mood ill admit that it's harder.

What about you?

[This message edited by Jaybee2020 at 12:52 AM, April 20th (Tuesday)]

BH:29
WW:27
On Dday
D-DAY: APRIL 15, 2020

posts: 86   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2020
id 8652126
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 3:55 PM on Tuesday, April 20th, 2021

Once all the one year anniversaries passed with a whimper, I was able to really start my healing. I had so much anxiety leading up to them and it wasn’t as bad as expected.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years

posts: 3713   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8652219
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