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What to tell the kids?

HenryIIX posted 3/29/2021 11:49 AM

Hello all! Long time SI member, first post in Divorce/Separation.

I have made the decision to divorce WH, he is aware. At the time of DDay#2 we decided that we would not tell anyone until June. DS1 struggled in his first semester of college and he will be the one that takes D the hardest, he is my sensitive one. So, I wanted him to be able to succeed or fail on his own at college for his second semester.

WH and I are living together still, he is sleeping in DS1's room. I think we're pulling it off for now, but who knows!

Anyway, we plan on telling the boys in early June. My question is: Do we tell them why we are divorcing? The boys are 16 (sophomore in high school) and 19 (freshman in college). I think they should know the truth but I wanted to check in with my SI Family and see if anyone has experience and/or opinions since I have time to plan.

nekonamida posted 3/29/2021 13:12 PM

I think that they should be told the truth. DDay 2 was recent enough that he may still be seeing her and bring her into their lives shortly after the announcement. It's better that they hear it from you and aren't blindsided.

Marz posted 3/29/2021 13:34 PM

The truth.

Phoenix1 posted 3/29/2021 14:47 PM

Always be truthful. Doesn't mean getting into dirty details or bashing the WS, and assure them you will always answer their questions honestly. As they process over time, it is likely they will ask questions. They are old enough to understand what an A is. If you lie, and they find out later, resentment can rear its ugly head.

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