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Lavenderrose posted 1/30/2021 01:17 AM

As part of my healing I moved to a different town with the expectation that my ex would not venture into my environs.
Save for pick up and drop off of our teen.

I need a line in the sand so to speak.

As I have healed emotionally I have been able to have short conversations with the X during drop off and pick up.

And here is my mistake... I forget.
I forget that everytine I mention .....oh I went to this new walking trail, or (pre pandemic) i went to hear music at such and such. Suddenly these places are on his radar. Not because he hopes to see me or anything. Honestly I don't know why he does it. Or if he is even aware that he does this. For instance I went to a pub to hear Irish music on my birthday a year ago.
He now does their open mike regularly.
It is online but still WTF. And then he thanks me for telling him about the place
Because apparently there are no other places in the whole wide world.
Years ago I introduced him to a festival thinking it would be our family thing.
He took it over as His thing.

Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing?

The1stWife posted 1/30/2021 04:44 AM

I see it with people who have no original thoughts. Was the X like this during your marriage too?

My mom has this thing that I find hilarious. My parents are married over 60 years. Good marriage. When they go out to eat my dad orders whatever my mom orders. Drives my mother crazy.

I donít understand why sheís upset. She gets her meal of choice snd eats it. Whatever my dad gets has no bearing on my momís meal. Yet it annoys her that he copied her.

So I fully understand your Xís behavior and lack of originality. Start telling him about this things you have NO interest in or will never go to. Problem solved.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 4:45 AM, January 30th (Saturday)]

Lavenderrose posted 1/30/2021 08:51 AM

First Wife

I thought about that!

I don't generally have the energy for made up things. But perhaps It could be a new hobby.

I can gather info in Yelp lol

JanaGreen posted 1/30/2021 09:18 AM

Pre pandemic, if I mentioned anywhere that I was going to go do something during my kid free time he would go on and on about how he and his buddies had been there and how it was a cool place but I could check out some other place that he knew of that was cooler, because he was just the authority on what was cool because he's such a cool guy. So I make it a point to not really let him know anything that I'm doing. I guess it's the Grey Rock strategy. He thinks I'm very boring and that is fine with me..

Lavenderrose posted 1/30/2021 14:52 PM

The gray rock strategy! I like it.
I may have to adopt it.

skeetermooch posted 1/30/2021 20:38 PM

Mine moved a few miles away from me - far enough that he's near his own amenities. The other day, I went to the hardware store that's walking distance from my house and he's in there - wtf - there are hardware stores in his neighborhood. He also still goes to the park near my house even though he's got a park right across the street from his new place.

He went out and adopted a clone of my dog after we split - super creepy.

They may be unoriginal or they might be doing the geographical equivalent of man-spreading into our turf. He could have some sense that you may have moved to establish your own new life and if so, he's letting you know it's fair game for him too. Another thought is he wants you to think you have these things in common because he wants to hoover.

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