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Just sharing a perspective to consider

Palmetto9213 posted 1/20/2021 16:58 PM

I know there is a book forum, but I felt like this is more appropriate for those of us in NB....if not, feel free to move it.

I am reading a fiction book titled "Secrets From A Happy Marriage"....and a passage from it hit the nail on the head for me, even if it IS fiction, (and there is infidelity involved which might be a trigger for some). But my takeaway from it was this...

"The marriage isn't your burden anymore. Sure, you have all this divorce stuff. But the marriage is gone. You could sift through the wreckage, but it won't put it back together now." She felt like she had been staring at a web of knots and tangles that she had been trying to sort out for so long she was strained from the effort of it. But suddenly, she realized she could put it down. If you decide to start over...the only knots left to go through are inside yourself. Because their lives were now separate, and she could begin again from there."

I personally invested too much time trying to untie the tangles of lies and deceit, which in the end, made no difference because the marriage was over. I thought our intimacy mattered because it was something we shared, and I believed that we only wanted to share it with each other. But as I discovered, my WS did not share that level of commitment. But once I put down that web of knots and tangles, my focus shifted- it became myself and my healing. I hope this helps others shift their focus and benefits someone who is experiencing a New Beginning.

homewrecked2011 posted 1/20/2021 20:26 PM

Thank you so much for this!!!! It’s been years, but sometimes I thin “if only I had done xyz....”, but the reality is, he wasn’t the person I thought he was, he was a fake person.

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