SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Had a voice mail from ex husband. Haven’t spoken in over a month. He asked me to call. I hesitated because I thought he might ask for money but decided I better call back. He proceeded to tell me his girlfriend who he lives with was confronted by her sister in law as being the cause of our wrecked marriage and divorce. He said the sister in law got the info from someone in our former town who is actually his cousin-in-law. I haven’t seen her since July 2019 and looked back and gave just a few texts in past year not related to my failed marriage.

I said I don’t know what to tell you because I have moved on and been divorced almost for a year. I don’t live in the same town that we used to live in I have not spoken to anybody that lives there except for a few people at the vets office and I am more classy than that. I said I’m disappointed that you even had to call me to ask me about that because you know me better. I also said we are not in middle school. I said I don’t know what you want me to do about this or why you were calling me. He said well if it was me I wouldn’t want to know if he said it. I said actually I don’t do drama and wouldn’t care what people are saying. He proceeded to yell at me and swear at me and I finally said that the discussion was over inside to buy. What in the world? Have any of you ever dealt with this?

My kids see the girlfriends social media and every once in a while she threatens to kick somebody’s ass. I don’t want any drama from people and it’s been so long since my divorce was final in fact it will be a year in less than a month. This just does not sit well with me. That he kept on yelling and telling you I wasn’t listening. And I said I listen to you for 20+ years and he said I didn’t. Anyway I don’t know why I’m putting this out here I just wonder if anybody else has dealt with anything like this? I just don’t have time for The pettiness. I am going to be 55 years old this year. I don’t even remember such drama in middle school or high school. Thanks for listening to me ramble. SP

I would block him on your phone. Email only, and only related to the children (provided they are under 18). I haven't had a phone conversation with stbx in I don't know how long... Much more peaceful that way. and any ridiculousness he throws your way is now in writing. And you won't be put on the spot to respond. You can take your time and then ignore.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 8:49 PM, January 19th (Tuesday)]

Honestly, he might have been testing the waters to see if he could hoover you. Maybe the whole thing was an excuse to call?

But you're divorced and he's childish so no need to ever talk to him again from the sounds of it.

Your ex had 20 years of being able to to run to you for emotional support. Now he doesn't have that. You won't listen to him - Boo hoo!

He also sounds like one of those people who claim they "don't want drama" but either gravitate towards people who cause it or create drama themselves. Yes, there are people over the age of 50 who still act like they are in middle school!

Thanks everyone for chiming in. I can’t block him because of the court document it says we have to have each other‘s phone numbers in case of emergency. The only good thing is my daughter graduates next year and that I don’t have to deal with him after that. Ironically someone took a bat to my mailbox.Just a day or two after that phone conversation. I have no camera and no proof of anything so I will just leave it there. But I am very suspicious of the girlfriend.

Also I had no idea what Hoover meant. I had to look it up. I am learning so much. Thanks again everyone and have a great week.

((Hugs))

SP

Hmmmm. You’re divorced. 😃

He’s still worried about his reputation. The one he trashed in his own 🤣

He blames you for his “fall from grace”.

And he or his GF destroyed your mailbox. 😡

I understand the D. I guess he thinks he still matters to you. Typical selfish cheating jerk.

Next time he calls you give him 30 seconds. If he gets upset or yells just hang up on him. Or tell him unless it’s an emergency with your child - you want to use a parenting app to communicate. Period!