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Divorce/Separation :
What is age appropriate responses?

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 Somber (original poster member #66544) posted at 12:07 PM on Wednesday, December 2nd, 2020

My children are 7 and 9. What are age appropriate responses shall we separate? How do I protect them and their sense of safety and security?

I know it will backfire to be too honest as my spouse won’t take responsibility for his actions causing the end of our marriage. Instead, he will blame me saying Mommy doesn’t want to be married anymore, not me”

I expect a lot of behavioural immature responses from him, so how do I keep my head up? Protect my kids? Respect the age appropriate needs?

I was thinking along the lines of stating that married couples make promises and some of those promises have been broken. When that happens sometimes Mommy’s and Daddy’s chose to be friends instead of being married.

I have no idea and he will never agree with anything I suggest. In fact, I find it absolutely impossible to have a normal

Mature conversation about the status of our marriage at all. In fact, right now I am suffering from day 3 of the silent treatment by sharing my opinion about our marriage.

I would like to suggest a separation after Christmas but know that won’t come easy. He will make it difficult but also mix it up

With a bunch of love bombing and promises.

Me: BS, 41 / Him: SAWH, 43
2 children ages 7 and 9
“The truth is still blurry but the lies are getting clearer”

posts: 632   ·   registered: Oct. 17th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8613614
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little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 1:17 PM on Wednesday, December 2nd, 2020

My kids were little when XH and I split, but when my oldest was older (maybe 6?), he started asking questions and wanted to know why we weren't together. I kept it simple. "Dad broke a rule of marriage." I only answered questions that were asked.

I wouldn't say the part about choosing to be friends now, cuz that's not true...

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5609   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8613618
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 Somber (original poster member #66544) posted at 7:51 PM on Thursday, December 3rd, 2020

Thank you. Keep it simple is good advice to go by for kids. And your right to leave our false hopes of this friendship, it really isn’t realistic. Amicable and respectful hopefully, friends not so much.

Me: BS, 41 / Him: SAWH, 43
2 children ages 7 and 9
“The truth is still blurry but the lies are getting clearer”

posts: 632   ·   registered: Oct. 17th, 2018   ·   location: Canada
id 8614009
This Topic is Archived
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