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Looking Back

taken4granted posted 9/10/2020 08:34 AM

I don't usually look back, but my husband and I were talking recently about different denominations and how exactly they differ. He mentioned that the denomination of the minister that married me to my now Ex believes that everyone is good. It made me think about how my Ex had written that minister about his infidelity. We were married by him since he was a friend of my father.

Anyway, I re-read the letter that my ex wrote and the response from the minister. Re-reading now when I'm not in the middle of the mess, was different to say the least. My ex did his best to sound remorseful and repentent. And, honestly, I would have questioned my memory except I responded to his email with one question: How come you didn't tell the pastor about the number of times you called me Bitch or told me Fuck you just last night?

So, this morning over breakfast, I was telling my husband about it. He actually laughed out loud at my response to his email. He then said, what a fool.

I'm sharing this only because sometimes I think we like to think that it wasn't that bad or that maybe we made the wrong decision to divorce. I know I don't have any doubts about it. But it was kind of an eye opener to see just how much he was willing to put me down while pretending to be remorseful and saying that I was his world.

Palmetto9213 posted 9/10/2020 20:33 PM

Taken4granted, I walked away from my toxic marriage back in January of 2019, and just this week I was also taking a look back at things...(it's the 2 year anniversary of my Mom's death, and my ex was not yet out of my life at the time of her passing). I was pondering how I went from being told daily "You're the best thing that ever happened to me" and professions of his undying love and faithfulness to the screaming "You're a bitch...Fuck you"....after my blinders were off and his cheating was exposed....

"But it was kind of an eye opener to see just how much he was willing to put me down while pretending to be remorseful and saying that I was his world."

After leaving him, I too saw through his fake remorse and half-hearted attempt to SAY he would change without actually taking any ACTION to change. I too have no doubts whatsoever that divorce was the right thing for me.

So in my 'look back', I asked myself "why did I keep beating myself with the hammer?" and I realize now how good it felt and still feels once I stopped! I'm happy and blessed to be on the other side now......

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