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Divorce/Separation :
Selling the marital home

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Tallgirl (original poster Member #64088) posted at 11:48 PM on Tuesday, August 11th, 2020

My stxwh just informed me That he may Want to buy me out of the marital home. What a dick.

He changes his mind every minute.

What are the challenges to this, other than agreeing on fair market value.

I hate hate the idea of him in this neighborhood when I can’t afford it.

Has anyone had this? Any good out of it?

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8573105
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Chili ( Member #35503) posted at 12:27 AM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2020

Hey TG:

It's my understanding that if it's marital property (it is, right?) that it can go 1 of 3 ways.

1. He gives you your share of equity

2. You give him his share of equity

3. The house is sold and you split the equity

#1 and #2 would probably depend in the other spouse being able to get approval for a new mortgage in their name (or with a co-signer like a parent or someone I guess)? Could you actually afford to stay if you run the numbers?

I think as you said the other challenge can be the appraisal process. One party is benefited by a lower fair market value vs. the other. Each hiring an appraiser and splitting the difference is one way to negotiate that.

Sometimes #3 is the only way to go if you hit a stalemate.

Now...on to you.

What do YOU want to do? Do you really want this house? Let's pretend this is not a divorce thing, but that he just poofed and is magically sent to the end of the earth or something. Would you want to still live there? Is this your forever house?

Or is this a perfect time to think about what kind of housing you'd like to transition into? Tired of house maintenance and yard work? Want a basement this time around? One level? Closer to work?

I think that's more important in the end then what he "wants to do" and changes his mind about every other minute. What are you able to afford and what do you want to do with your housing going forward.

(I know it chaps to think of him still in the marital home - but you'll tap into your strength if that's the case and find a way to make it part of your new beginnings).

2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Loving flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett

posts: 2136   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Reality
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 Tallgirl (original poster Member #64088) posted at 2:15 AM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2020

For the most part I want to move. It is too big for just me, and while I like the house it is too much work and has a shit load of memories here.

But the neighbourhood is terrific, the people are awesome. I will be sad to go.

Just didn’t expect to hear that and it threw me.

Then I wondered what he was thinking. So little trust. Been lied to for over a decade. You know. Plus he has been here 10 days straight and I am feeling the stress.

This needs to be over

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1646   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8573143
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thatbpguy ( Member #58540) posted at 3:53 AM on Wednesday, August 12th, 2020

Say, "no" and sell the house. And don't budge.

Or is it possible to keep it and maybe have a roommate to help share in expenses?

ME: BHHer: WWDDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I leftDivorcedRemarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4449   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8573186
Topic is Sleeping.
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