Do I bother exposing her and him to family
Exposure has value for a BS sometimes. Generally, it's the #1 tool to kill an affair.
In your case, it sounds like he's been gone for a year, he has a story in place, and you have no evidence of that story not being true.
I guess my big question for you is: what would you hope to get out of this exposure? You have to be careful because no matter how right you are, there is an extremely high probability that doing something like this would accomplish 0% of what you're hoping it would, and it would have the added effect of making you look very, very bad to other people who otherwise aren't thinking about this or you at all.
Sucks, I know. Just one of those shitty infidelity realities.
We separated. And the whole year + I begged him to file, to tell me the truth/timeline of OW.
First, what is stopping you from doing the filing yourself?
Second, I *totally* get how maddening it can be to not know the reality of your situation. Your WH is destroying you with his lies and half-truths. Rest assured, this...
He claims he met her 5 days after he told me our marriage was over.
...is never, ever, ever, ever true.
But I recognize how good for you it would be if you could possibly somehow get confirmation that you're not crazy and this started before your husband left.
What have you done to investigate? Checked old phone records? Checked social media stuff? Etc.?
Also: what was your relationship like with your husband in the months leading up to his announcement that he was leaving? Was he angry a lot? Distant? Protective of his phone? Etc.?
Do I just swallow the pain n keep moving
You swallow it, process it, heal from it. You work on being an awesome mom and person and go from there.
It's a tough walk to walk, but you can get lots of help here doing it.
EDIT: having now read your initial post, I can see that you do have evidence that he was having an affair.
I know it's hard and sad, but there are steps you can take to move forward from here. Even if you struggle to see why it's important simply for *you* to move forward in healing, think about your daughter; she needs, more than anything, to have a mom who is happy and healthy and ok. It's a gift you'll be giving her.
[This message edited by Okokok at 11:41 AM, August 9th (Sunday)]