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jess29 (original poster new member #47272) posted at 4:02 AM on Sunday, May 3rd, 2020
Sorry hope it’s ok to repost this in this forum as well as general.
So here I am back in this forum 5 years after my husband cheated, how stupid was I to think he would change... I couldn’t even remember the name of this forum it’s been so long but what do you know he’s been caught out again, he’s trying to deny it but he’s lies for the 10 years we’ve been together. I thankfully got a beautiful little girl who is about to turn 3 who makes it all worth it... I’m officially done, I need help to get out, he won’t let me leave, nor can I afford too. What can I do ? Is there a Facebook group ?
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 4:11 AM on Sunday, May 3rd, 2020
Have you spoken to an attorney? Many still give free consultations. See what divorce looks like for you. Knowledge is power. Consult with two or three attorneys if you can and then choose the one that feels right.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 4:30 AM on Sunday, May 3rd, 2020
Do you need his permission to leave him? No you don’t.
Call an attorney. Get yourself a good counselor who can support you.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
jess29 (original poster new member #47272) posted at 5:01 AM on Sunday, May 3rd, 2020
I’m more worried about money, do we have to split all the furniture ? I can’t afford that, also trying to get payment takes ago in AUS, I only work full time. It’s very frustrating to think I loose everything because of his cheating ways.
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 12:16 PM on Sunday, May 3rd, 2020
That might have been a typo. Are you saying you only work part-time?
Get an attorney. You might be entitled to alimony and child support. And don't worry yourself about furniture right now. Things might be tight for a while, but you will eventually get on your feet. Furniture is not a reason to stay with an abuser. Cheating is abuse.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 1:46 PM on Sunday, May 3rd, 2020
It's really common to be terrified of divorce. I remember I was so scared of financial ruin I started hoarding food, just in case.
In reality, it wasn't as financially devastating as I thought.Maybe if you break it into tiny steps, or goals it will help you move forward.
Goal 1: Learn as much as you can about divorce in AUS. Visit an attorney to learn exactly what would happen to you when you divorce such as how assets and debts are divided, how parenting time is organized, how child support is handled, etc. In the USA, once a divorce is filed certain protections fall into place. Find out what happens in AUS, because it may be advantageous to you to file and get the protections in place.
Step 2: secure your finances. Be sure he cannot take out any loans without your signature or steal all the money.
Step 3: Do not share your strategies or plans with WH. Secure/change your passwords and very careful about what you put in writing/emails because they can be used in court against you.
Take a deep breathe---- you can do this!
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
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