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trb84 (original poster member #61326) posted at 7:03 PM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2019
It has been a year since into moved into a new apt. alone. I went NC from my ex 2 months ago. I started dating someone 6 months ago and I feel so grateful to be with someone who I can talk to about anything.
I feel like things are moving faster in this relationship, which I am having difficulty processing where I want it to go. He is under going surgery and he wants me to take care of him. I am terrified of giving too much of myself to someone who I really don’t feel would be able to do the same for me.
In my previous relationship I made big sacrifices to be with him and to satisfy his needs, but he wasn’t able to offer the same in return. Eventually he cheated on me numerous times. The current guy I am with said if my career took me somewhere else he wouldn’t be able to go. He also talks to his ex fiancé and doesn’t trust me to be alone with gay men, which I just found out this weekend.
The positive side of the relationship is that he will be by side every night without a doubt. He wants me to be happy and has made changes to enable me to safe with him. I want to be with him during his surgery, and take care of him, but I also don’t want to be doormat in another relationship.
We live in the same building and see each other nearly everyday.
Chrysalis123 ( member #27148) posted at 8:22 PM on Wednesday, July 31st, 2019
You have an awful lot of "new" going on in the last year. 2 of which are at the top of the list for stressful life events.
Your gut is trying to tell you something here.....
What have you done to heal yourself from years of over-giving and being a doormat?
Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie
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