this is long and having such a bad day today. Feeling the effects of my DS trying to battle his dad for some sort of control in their relationship.
DS is refusing to visit until EXNPD acknowledges his Bday(oct3) and says he isn't going to until he gets him a present.
He emailed him last friday telling him that he didn't email his visitation plans therefore they(kids) made alternate plans. EX has not responded to email.
In past usually when he went silent and totally abandoned kids I would step in and try to fix things but either going off on him or making/telling what to do, I am fighting the urge.
We have had some turbulent last few weeks with courts and CPS visits, and even the police. He filed 2 motions in which he wants 50-50 custody and no child support. We switch every other week with kids- because the gf and him have the "means and determination" to provide for kids the same way I do, factoring in of course he doesn't pay child support. Because I have been mismanaging- "What" I don't know what I have mismanaged but OK.
He filed a police report for assault charges, claiming I verbally assaulted and spit on him, after I was escorted off the school property for going off on his older son. YEAH, OK his reality- stick to that buddy.
He has cut off all contact with kids, no calls or emails, nothing.
I am waiting on CPS write up for court, he and gf of course presented such a pretty picture full of lies, they claimed they were given a restraining order against me- it was valid.. reality check- it got dismissed, I showed her the evidence of their claims of Domestic violence. The gf techincally has 50-50 custody of her son but did what was best for him and the mother in law & sister are raising him because he has so many behavioral-psych issues.
Since he was recording video/audio any interactions between us, he showed her a video when i went off on him. I showed her the email/text trail prior to that incident and told her that yes i overreacted and didn't handle it well. I recognized that he was manipulating and staging things to get me to react and I had to implement stronger boundaries, to which he retaliated by contacting child support and saying i didn't have custody of kids to stop child support payments.
They told CPS worker that they were considering in future filing for custody once they have their place set up, I showed her him filing in Sept for custody and his threats of declaring WAR on me. I showed her the emails between him & our ds regarding visitation. HE told CPS worker that I was at fault, typical parental alienation claim. She read our son asking for the plans prior to visit and the lack of phone calls or emails from the EX and him ignoring all his wishes BUT only respecting his wishes when it came to not visiting him because he intended on blaming me.
I think and hope CPS was able to see and recognized the situation and once report comes out we can request for supervised visitation.
He had filed for contempt of court against me because i denied him visitation, we had hearing set for 17, he dismissed it this past week.
He didn't file for a restraining order YET, but I know he is working on something.
I was talking to a semi-mutual friend(more mine than his) and telling her what was going on and she told me that his car is not working. She is moving and she asked him for help(granted he didn't help me -hahaha but because he is such a good guy he was going to help her) I told her he doesn't need his car to pick up phone to text or email DS, plus he has his fiancee- she has a car- we will see what happens for visitation this weekend.
My friend agreed that he is a douche but she needs help moving plus she was going to see and ask him what the hell was going on and in a way talk to him about the damage he is causing the kids.
She has always advocated for the kids and has maintained strong boundaries with him and is a good advocate for my kids. She was going to try and find out why they don't have a single piece of furniture. They moved in july but have nothing, not even a couch or bed. He had stuff at his old apt, and what about her or any of her stuff?
Just sucks that here I thought I was done and hoped he would go away quietly, I was so wrong.
At times I feel like this is my dang cross to bear and quick fix for the kids because if I allow him around me he will gladly come back. I just can't even allow that to happen but hate the hurt my kids go through.
I wish he would go away so my kids can heal but he is too damn selfish to do that- because he doesn't even care the damage he causes them just to get at me.