SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Interesting read Blake. I am a hodgepodge of everything but peacekeeper. My strongest suit was avoider. My fww is a peacekeeper (i filled in the blanks based on my own perception of how she would have answered with no one looking).

Not sure exactly what that means as I kind of already had an idea. I will say that my fww seems to have gravitated toward controllers. It seems to compliment her willingness to please. Not something I really gave much thought to before but it makes sense now.

Interesting quiz. I have, like, 3 problem areas! I tell you what, a dysfunctional childhood is the gift that just keeps on giving!!

(High scores in Pleasing, Vascillating, and somewhat high in Avoiding!)

Thankfully, I do not appear to be a victim.

Thanks for this link Blakesteele.

I am mix of vascillator and pleaser as in needs work. My H is strong avoider but also mix of vascillator and pleaser.

I think I was a stronger vascillator before dday but have been making a conscious effort to not detach as we worked thru this. My H was remorseful from the start and cheating had ended so I forced myself to stay engaged, as prior to this I would have detached more. I guess I believed our M survival depended on him owning it big time (wouldn't let him avoid much).

Looking back my H became a stronger avoider as he neared his decision to cheat.

This is very helpful to ponder...

My H had a pretty good childhood but it was a large family and he was the problem child when young (acted out, stole a little, vandalized, lied). He was and is a risk taker. But he straightened himself out as he got older by high school. I met him after college and found him to be very honorable upstanding and decent. Never thought he would ever cheat and neither did he.

I think he received a lot of negative responses and feedback when he was young though as I've read a heartbreaking he wrote as a small boy.

[This message edited by whattheh at 3:48 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]