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Different perspective

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 Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 10:03 PM on Sunday, May 19th, 2019

Her lawyer emailed late on Friday.

She waffled - they are still preparing a case plan according to my wife’s instructions, we will hear shortly.

My lawyer doesn’t know what a case plan is either.

But at least they are answering.

I think her lawyer is very slow and an idiot.

That’s the reason for the delay.

posts: 949   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2018
id 8380504
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NoOptTo ( member #62958) posted at 10:11 PM on Sunday, May 19th, 2019

I'm sorry. Dont know about your laws down under. I know you had to pay her lawyer up front even though she has her own income. Have you ask your lawyer what are your chances on recovering any of your money through discovery that she is actually able to afford her own lawyer without your assistance?

posts: 642   ·   registered: Mar. 6th, 2018   ·   location: New York
id 8380507
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 Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 11:02 PM on Sunday, May 19th, 2019

I may have expressed myself wrongly / I haven’t discovered that; I’m ok with having to pay her lawyer .

I can look my kids in the eyes and state that I played fairly.

posts: 949   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2018
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NoOptTo ( member #62958) posted at 1:21 AM on Monday, May 20th, 2019

I'm may be explaining wrong also. Here in the US, discovery is a process, procedure that both sides have to give all relevant information such as their income. Their savings. Their assets.....

I was just curious if you are being taken advantage one last time by her and her attorney. And if there are any ramifications, refund of your money, if it can be proven that she is capable of funding her own attorney since she works herself, has her own banking, own apartment, etc.

It is true, you can certainly look your kids in the eye and tell them you handled yourself with honor and integrity through out this ordeal. Here's to moving ahead with life.

posts: 642   ·   registered: Mar. 6th, 2018   ·   location: New York
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AFL1000 ( member #66483) posted at 1:29 AM on Monday, May 20th, 2019

Hey ATG

I'm very proud of you mate the way you handled the situation with you STBXW when she contacted you about emails on your daughters iPad. It shows your personal growth through this whole shit storm that you don't care one iota about her emails. Her pleading that she did things for all the wrong reasons, did you hate her and asked if you and her can get back together is just too little too late.

Your emphatic response that you wanted her gone and you were getting on with your life is the best response you can give.

As I've said before when reality hits it can be a bitch. Now the karma train is coming full steam to your STBXW.

posts: 247   ·   registered: Oct. 12th, 2018   ·   location: Victoria Australia
id 8380571
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paboy ( member #59482) posted at 2:06 AM on Monday, May 20th, 2019

Well... I wondered when the ww would finally realize where this was going to end up..and all of the realities that would come with it. and whether she was either going to regret/remorse or be in denial and a real bit.. for the next umpteen years.

The power shift of decision eschews further to you. Be wise and decisive as you have shown, from here on in.

posts: 633   ·   registered: Jul. 4th, 2017   ·   location: australia
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 Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 2:11 AM on Monday, May 20th, 2019

NoOptTo - yes , she will have to declare her assets, and if she has enough money to pay for her own lawyer, then I will ask for a refund.

AFL: I’m actually just sad.

Sad about the situation and for the kids.

It all needed to be said, for sure.

However , I don’t want to score any points , all I want is to move on.

Paboy - thanks - i now have found my way through all this.

I will lose a lot of money, but that’s the price I’m willing to pay to get rid of a cheater.

I can only assume that she will turn into a bitch again real soon. After brief periods of remorse, she hs usually tried to make things difficult a few weeks later.

The same will happen here.

[This message edited by Atg100 at 8:15 PM, May 19th (Sunday)]

posts: 949   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2018
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 2:21 AM on Monday, May 20th, 2019

I can only assume that she will turn into a bitch again real soon. After brief periods of remorse, she hs usually tried to make things difficult a few weeks later.

The same will happen here.

Probably so but you have control over that by limiting your communication.

Again, learn to ignore

posts: 6791   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
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Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 5:36 AM on Monday, May 20th, 2019

ATG.

I believe when you get to 50 pages of this thread it will be filled up and you will have to start a new one.

I recommend starting a new one. Perhaps calling it “Different Perspective Part 2” or something like that and then put a post in the old one pointing to the old one via the website name. (URL).

Just a suggestion.

Ps: you have the right attitude in all this mess and are doing well with interacting with your STBXW.

fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.

posts: 3691   ·   registered: Apr. 17th, 2017
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 Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 8:56 PM on Monday, May 20th, 2019

Thank you for the suggestion.

I started different perspective 2.0 .

Not sure if that is an upgrade or just more of the same.

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=638222

posts: 949   ·   registered: Sep. 7th, 2018
id 8380943
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