Topic is Sleeping.
Colorado5280 (original poster new member #84855) posted at 4:46 AM on Friday, June 7th, 2024
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[This message edited by Colorado5280 at 8:04 PM, Saturday, June 8th]
Colorado5280 (original poster new member #84855) posted at 4:56 AM on Friday, June 7th, 2024
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[This message edited by Colorado5280 at 8:04 PM, Saturday, June 8th]
HellIsNotHalfFull ( member #83534) posted at 6:04 AM on Friday, June 7th, 2024
Good for you brother. You’re absolutely handling this disaster the right way.
I do recommend that if you need time away from her, don’t meet her for drinks. You can expect the same reaction from her like last time, and if you’re not ready to commit to R that will only make more difficult and confusing.
One of my greatest mistakes in R is
That I made the choice to when I was no where ready.
You’re doing fantastic and wish you the best.
Me mid 40s BH
Her 40s STBX WW
3 year EA 1 year PA.
DDAY 1 Feb 2022. DDAY 2 Jun 2022. DDAY 3/4/5/6/7 July 2024
Nothing but abuse and lies and abuse false R for three years. Divorcing and never looking back.
Seeking2Forgive ( member #78819) posted at 7:41 AM on Friday, June 7th, 2024
The thing that you need to keep in mind is that it's very rare for a WS to be completely truthful and stop lying as soon as they are confronted. The odds are slim that your WS is the exception. Usually they continue to lie in an attempt to minimize consequences and shift the blame onto their BS. That's likely what is happening right now.
She didn't cheat because of problems in your marriage. She cheated because of her own personal issues and selfishness. Trying to win her back and fix her list of grievances just validates her gas lighting and blame shifting.
Is she getting any therapy to address her issues? Did she send OM a no contact letter that you were able to confirm was sent? Has she been completely transparent with her electronics and communications to allow you to validate that she is no longer in communication? Does OM have a SO and were they informed?
Me: 62, BS -- Her: 61, FWS -- Dday: 11/15/03 -- Married 37 yrs -- Reconciled
Seeking2Forgive ( member #78819) posted at 9:53 PM on Sunday, June 9th, 2024
How are you doing, Colorado?
I see that you deleted your content. If you're concerned about anonymity I hope you can continue to engage here, perhaps with fewer potentially identifying details. If not, I hope that you will get professional help in understanding and dealing with what has happened.
What you have experienced is traumatic. Your whole reality has been shattered and you're trying to put it back together with many pieces missing. If you try to just move on it will likely nag at you for many years to come.
That was my experience. I just moved on because I didn't want to push for the truth and risk losing my marriage or my delusions about it. Twenty years later the shame of having accepted the lies, abuse, and humiliation of it became too much to bear and I had to finally deal with it.
Best wishes to you.
Me: 62, BS -- Her: 61, FWS -- Dday: 11/15/03 -- Married 37 yrs -- Reconciled
Topic is Sleeping.
