Know this is flogging a dead horse but…
I walked in on my spouse in my house, my bedroom, my bed, my sheets having loud and vigorous sex with OM. The sort I didn’t see until years later on dark and nasty sites here on the internet. The type that make you delete cookies and clean your history…
At the time I was a rookie cop. Had to go home to get a clean shirt at about midnight on a Saturday night. Six hours later I was supposed to be sleeping in that bed…
So there I was – with a gun at my hip, an old-fashioned night-stick on the other, cuffs, mace… I could have done major damage. But I didn’t.
A couple of weeks later I asked a DA whether I would have gotten away with beating him or even shooting him dead. He said that since I heard the sounds of sex before I opened the door then no – had I shot him it would not be manslaughter but most likely murder 2. Same if I had beaten him. In order to get away with manslaughter it has to be impulsive and instant or in semi-self-defense (bar fight scenario).
You took the time to burn the photos, the dress, wreck the ring, phone your MIL, drive over to OM… Just one more punch and chances are you would now be facing more than manslaughter… More than reasonable time had passed from discovery to action and you went actively out to find OM and do damage.
Reconciling a marriage, raising kids, providing for a family… It’s not easy behind bars.
Do your FIL and MIL keep in contact with the OM?
Do you have any reason to suspect FIL knew of the affair?
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus