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beach (original poster member #7533) posted at 6:27 PM on Monday, November 30th, 2009
Hello, Scout! 
I am so glad you finally got to read this book! Good luck with your healing journey! 
If you don't find peace with yourself, you cannot find anywhere else.
Appreciate and cherish what I have.
takeadeepbreath ( member #26025) posted at 1:55 AM on Friday, January 7th, 2011
got my hands on a copy
giving it a go
better late than never
tadb
For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are
Gordon Sumner ~ Fragile
wordsfail ( member #30289) posted at 7:18 PM on Thursday, January 27th, 2011
I'm reading it now. It looks like I dipped it in blood as I tend to make notations in the margins with red pen at parts that "speak"' to me. Fitting color. I feel like my life is bleeding all over the pages. 
SHE/ME: 40's
WSO: 40's
OW: x-BF, 30's
Met 11/06. Moved in 1/08. Engaged 8/09. EA 11/09. PA began ??. My Mom died 12/09. DD 2/8/10. WSO is with x-BF now. My Dad died 12/10.
GraceisGood ( member #17686) posted at 1:12 AM on Thursday, March 17th, 2011
http://www.breitenbush.com/events/july29-31.html
Just wanted to let you all know that she will be doing another workshop and there is plenty of time to sign up if you desire as it is not until July.
I have not been to Britenbush, but think that this will be my first time there if I can follow through and go.
Grace
We have a tendency to think the love offered us is a reflection of our worth and value.But in actuality,it's a reflection of the person that is giving it.We love out of who WE are-not because of who the receiver is.At least in terms of real love.TSMF
Whisperingwillow ( member #24550) posted at 6:46 PM on Friday, March 25th, 2011
My copy arrived today. I had a big big cry just a few pages in.
I have known for a long time, pre-A, that I have abandonment issues, and it is something I am talking about in IC. Read the first chapter and it really resonated. I'm leaving it there for now - usually if I get a "self-help" book, I devour it in one sitting and it makes very little difference to my life. This seems different.
I am wondering about the Workbook, working through two of them together, I don't know if anyone has done this.
I am beginning to think WS has abandonment issues too; but that is as far as that train of thought is going. I have given up reading any kind of relationship books or infidelity recovery books and have finished MC unless WS accepts responsibility for his actions, acknowledges the depth of pain his behaviour has caused me, shows remorse, apologies, goes for IC etc etc, which could be never. So whatever happens, I really want to recovery and thrive, this book seems like a great companion on that journey.
BS. Lots of lies for nearly 8 years now. Enough is enough.
Newtwood ( member #21154) posted at 8:12 PM on Wednesday, March 30th, 2011
I just ordered this one. Can't wait to get into it. When I read some excerpts it was like reliving my life and it all made so much sense now.
I know why I 'LOST IT' on D-Day to the extent I did.
Faithful Wife of 24+ yrs: Me
WS: Him
OW(s): AFF Skanks/GRANDMOTHERS!!!
Status: Struggling Everday to
Survive
what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another-Anatole France
Whalers11 ( member #27544) posted at 6:53 PM on Saturday, April 2nd, 2011
I just bought this one... looking forward to reading it.
cass ( member #24261) posted at 9:56 PM on Saturday, April 2nd, 2011
Trying to lay my hands on it too.
DDay - April 2008
Me - 58 and doing great, alone.
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket!
bumbed ( member #31024) posted at 6:10 PM on Sunday, April 10th, 2011
I have been reading the book for about 3 weeks as well as Living in the now. They seem to be good companion books.
I have been having problems with the Big and little me. It seems like little just makes things up and we don't seem to be able to get to core issues from my childhood.
Is it possible that I don't have issues from my chiildhood but have been so deeply scared by my first husband leaving after 20 years with "I'm not happy" and then the second one leaving after 25 years with "We have nothing in common... I'm not happy".
Not a confidence builder
Could I be going back too far and there isnt an issue in childhood?
I rather suspect like all the worst things in life, making sense of it will not happen.
25 year relationship D day 1/28/11
The we door is closed but the ME doors are opening
Helen of Troy ( member #26419) posted at 6:20 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2011
I have a love hate with this book. Loved the descriptions of what happens to a mind from shattering to lifting. Loved reading that my reactions weren't crazy, that they were normal given the situation.
Hated inner child and big me and little me stuff.
heart_in_a_blend ( member #24191) posted at 8:23 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2011
I didn't even realize that I had abandonment issues until my husband abandon me. It almost killed me. I was so frighten I didn't know what to do.
It's been three years and when I look back at my childhood I realize why I feel this as an adult.
I was the last child, and my parents where tired of having children so they just left me to on my own while they went on vacations. I was suppose to go to school, but of course I didn't.
Anyway, maybe I should give this book a try.
In life, much of what one grieves one never had.
GraceisGood ( member #17686) posted at 4:05 PM on Friday, July 29th, 2011
OK, I DID follow through and am going today for the workshop with the Author of this book.
Please, send me any mojo, good thoughts, energy, prayers, whatever you can spare would be greatly appreciated. I have been searching for so long and hope I get something out of this, not expecting the moon, but hoping for a little something.
Will update when I get back if anyone is interested.
Grace
We have a tendency to think the love offered us is a reflection of our worth and value.But in actuality,it's a reflection of the person that is giving it.We love out of who WE are-not because of who the receiver is.At least in terms of real love.TSMF
Hope24 ( member #9344) posted at 3:09 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2011
Bump
She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.
Strongmama ( member #33062) posted at 3:25 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2011
Thanks Hope24
Jayne Doe ( member #32664) posted at 8:58 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2011
Wow - thanks for posting this... going to definitely order this book.
Everyday is a blank canvas, and only you hold the brush.
30y M traded in for a POM (pathetic Old Maid 46, 2 kids from different dads. never married)
S 11/11, D final 1/14.
formerlyteflon ( member #16725) posted at 7:29 PM on Sunday, February 12th, 2012
If you found "Journey From Abandonment to Healing" helpful, you'll get a lot out of "Journey From Heartbreak to Connection" and it's available for free online!
http://www.abandonmentrecovery.com/workbook.frame.member.html
It's a workbook that I've been curious about since I read "Journey From Abandonment..." but it's out of print and $100+ on Amazon. All you have to do is register at the above site (it's free) and download the workbook as PDFs. I'm in my first serious relationship since D and hit a wall a few weeks ago with some abandonment stuff. I've printing out the PDFs and am writing in the workbook and I'm almost finished. I feel like this could be a turning point in my healing.
“There is a limit to the amount of misery and disarray you will put up with, for love, just as there is a limit to the amount of mess you can stand around a house. You can’t know the limit beforehand, but you will know when you’ve reached it."
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