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There will come a time

hexed posted 11/23/2020 08:48 AM

When you won't even know your cheater XH phone number if you choose to leave.

This is just another post from an old timer who hasn't posted in a while to give you a nudge that this does pass whether you choose to stay or leave.

I signed up here in 2008. I struggled for a long time on leaving. I left. I remarried. I am happy in my perfectly imperfect second marriage.

Last week, there was a situation that I thought maybe I would be nice and let my XH know about. We are long past anger and incivility so it wasn't a big deal. I had seen him at my son's wedding a little over a year ago. We had exchanged 2 or 3 texts the day before about some logistics. I got a new phone and don't have his number in it. He has had the same cell number for at least 15 years. of course when we were married I new it by heart. I had memorized for many years after. Last year I had to check my contacts for it. This year I don't have, it don't remember it, and don't care.

No matter how much you're fighting it now, time will move things along. It won't be easy but truly you can get to a place where the X is completely irrelevant.

Wishing everyone struggling with this lots of hugs and love this holiday season.

fooled13years posted 11/23/2020 09:02 AM

Agreed, there will come a time when the memories of infidelity are but a blurry picture that can't quite come in to focus.

This takes more than just time. It takes living your current life to leave the old one behind.

JanaGreen posted 11/23/2020 09:09 AM

I thought you were quoting this song based on your title. After the Storm, Mumford & Sons. It always reminds me of leaving the trauma of my marriage.

And after the storm,
I run and run as the rains come
And I look up, I look up,
on my knees and out of luck,
I look up.

Night has always pushed up day
You must know life to see decay
But I won't rot, I won't rot
Not this mind and not this heart,
I won't rot.

And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

And now I cling to what I knew
I saw exactly what was true
But oh no more.
That's why I hold,
That's why I hold with all I have.
That's why I hold.

And I won't die alone and be left there.
Well I guess I'll just go home,
Oh God knows where.
Because death is just so full and man so small.
Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before.

And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

[This message edited by JanaGreen at 9:22 AM, November 23rd (Monday)]

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