Bulcy,
It seems that everyone deals with 'firsts', special days, anniversaries, etc. in much different ways.
I suppose my experience is different than yours since my BW said that regardless we have been married for 28 years and we are still married, and she expects me to make it a special day (mind you first year was reserved instead, but we grow as time passes). She does kind of block out whatever happened during the year of my LTA - including having deleted all photos, etc. so as to remove triggers.
The A and the AP took so much, but we also came out the other end of R much stronger and healthier as a couple than we were for years before the A (trauma of the A is still there too).
In the years since D-Day we went through HB and then around year 3 our R kind of started to transition into a new M - one where we were a team, on the same page and communicating well.
Worrying about complacency we take the time to date. We'd go out for walks, movies, dinners, etc. We make a point of spending time together and that includes some planned 'sex' nights. So in a way we are making lots of new firsts.
Do something different - I taught my wife to skate and we go to a nice park near our place and skate around the path that winds through the park and then have hot chocolate or go for wine and apps afterwards. I also made up a playlist of love songs for my wife and we have a bath with some wine and maybe a nice massage - I focus on her which she loves.
WH 53,my BW is 52. 1 year PA, D-Day Oct 2015. Admitted all, but there is no 'clean slate'. In R and working it everyday"
To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day