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I just found and wife is being so cruel about it.

Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4

Milk posted 7/15/2020 12:22 PM

Well the wife just got a promotion at work... Iím full of rage right now. She has an affair and then gets a promotion... I just want to quit. Why is this happening to me..

Kaliber posted 7/15/2020 12:46 PM

Well the wife just got a promotion at work... Iím full of rage right now. She has an affair and then gets a promotion... I just want to quit. Why is this happening to me..

Brother, many people told you here to get out!

SlapNutsABingo posted 7/15/2020 12:47 PM

Can this benefit you in the D? What does your lawyer say about this?

NeverTwice posted 7/15/2020 13:14 PM

SlapNutsABingo,

First - greetings fellow Redditor Now, second...

What does your lawyer say about this?

Yes^^^^ OP - Find out what your lawyer has to say ASAP.

Milk posted 7/15/2020 14:03 PM

I am not sure what you mean by get out, I am divorcing her. I imagine she will have to pay more in child support. Iím just furious how the people at her work can be so cold. She is still working with the guy, and he has two small kids too. I wouldnít want to work in that atmosphere. I just donít get it.

VinST posted 7/15/2020 14:13 PM

Lets lay this out for you ...
This is war and you gotta keep your cards close to you.
Time to forget about what happens to her. Let father time will deal with her.
Your focus should now shift to you and the kids.
Rule revenge out. There is no victory in revenge! and besides it holds you in bondage to her. Divorce as soon as you can and secure the child support she needs to pay. And have nothing more to do with her. all talk should be indifferent and cold.

Start taking care of yourself. Exercise, change your wardrobe a bit (if you can) clean up... you will eventually meet someone worthy of your love.

[This message edited by VinST at 2:15 PM, July 15th (Wednesday)]

ShutterHappy posted 7/15/2020 14:18 PM

I think you are appalled by the unfairness of it all. The wisdom of thousands of BS tell you that a person who behaves amorally has less chances in getting happiness than a person who behaves with decency.

Imagine person A driving on the highway at 120 mph, while having sex, and drunk, with no hands on the wheel and imagine person B driving at 55 mph safely.

Person B could say ITíS NOT FAIR, PERSON A HAS ALL THE FUN!!!

Odds are that, in the long term, person B will have a better life.
Just give it some time.

goalong posted 7/15/2020 14:26 PM

hate is as strong chain as lust - Buddha.
Please do not go pain shopping. The past you cannot do anything. Look forward do your things and improve your stocks. Living and progressing better is the best answer.
Your WW may measure success/happiness in physical things such as money and stature and superficial things such as physical appearance. She may be doing well now, but such attitudes lead to crashes.

SlapNutsABingo posted 7/15/2020 14:28 PM

Milk,

It would more then/than (I never know...) blow your mind just how many people don't want to deal with infidelity if they don't have to. It can be like the plague to them.


NeverTwice,

Genuflecting as I leave your throne room....

[This message edited by SlapNutsABingo at 7:46 AM, July 16th (Thursday)]

fooled13years posted 7/15/2020 14:59 PM

Milk,
There are very few here that donít know how unfair any of this is. Many wanted life to kick the WS right in the teeth because of what they have done.

I can tell you from personal experience that watching terrible things happen to the WS and their AP does not necessarily make you feel better.

If you D your WW just move on and live a life that you can be proud of.

Nothing else really matters, does it?

Kaliber posted 7/15/2020 16:46 PM

First - greetings fellow Redditor

Hay there

I wouldnít want to work in that atmosphere. I just donít get it.

Yup, these kind of workplaces are full of cheaters and plagued with infidelity!

The1stWife posted 7/15/2020 17:31 PM

Her office is not the morality police.

Most employers will turns blind eye to it bless they are facing a lawsuit or there is a company policy against it.

I understand how you feel.

There is the small satisfying notion she can pay more to you.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 6:31 PM, July 15th (Wednesday)]

oldtruck posted 7/15/2020 20:19 PM

what did you expect you did an improper work place exposure.
you did not rectify that by redoing a proper work place
exposure.

I bet you the employer gave your WW a promotion to prevent
her from claiming a work place sexual harassment suit.

Buffer posted 7/16/2020 03:33 AM

Do everything in writing, HR, lawyers, adulterous etc. Nil emotions just factual. Later down the track if anything comes back to bight you on the bum. You have proof that you tried to report her and her thieving AP to her work and bosses only to be fobbed off! Phone calls can be denied. Hard copies canít.
One day at a time and respect.
Buffer

HalfTime2017 posted 7/17/2020 14:43 PM

Milk, your WW had a classic exit affair. You got served within days of finding out. She was planning this for some time. Don't be fooled. The WWs that get frantic and show no remorse but try, those ones got caught with their panties down. Your WW, she was already out of the door.

Your best bet, is to move on. I know you are Divorcing, but there is much work to do. Get your house in order. Finances, getting a refi, to get her name off your home. Building up your relationship with your kids and coming up with a plan for custody and making sure they are emotionally safe. This is what matters now.

If you have the time and resources, have your attorney send a formal letter to HR, CEO (owner of the company) and Board. If its a public company, you can take it one step further. This should be done by your attorney, but from the sounds of it, even your attorney isn't on board.

As for Facebook and reaching out to her extended family, screw that. You expose to your circle and it will spread like wild fire. Don't waste more time on it though, it won't make her come back, and it won't some how just make her remorseful. Move on with your life, and live it better. That is the only revenge worth pursuing.

Let your current rage and anger help you get thru the D. Use it to be a better father. It will be a long journey, but one that you will survive. Things will get better.

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