We have to earn it. Even not guaranteed by doing our best, earning, and changing. We still don't just automatically get it in return. We will never be entitled to it. Not from the ones we have hurt. That is a gift of grace and we aren't owed it. Many forget that, I agree. They have expectations that if they do x,y,z....then the BS should do x,y,z in return. Do we deserve to have people trust us when we have changed....I think we do. Just not the ones we already have proven to hurt.
I think we have to earn it here, too. Once you've been here a while, it feels like madness to believe every WS who shows up here saying they've woken up to their BS's pain and are committed to total honesty from here on out.
I lurked for several months before my first post, and it helped me make some important progress, so I thought I deserved instant credibility here even though no one had seen me doing the work. I've since seen other newbies come in feeling like they deserve trust because just being on SI means their intentions are good, and that they've woken up and changed. It's honestly a little off-putting when someone comes in and starts dispensing advice without establishing their bona fides, or answers every critique with "Yes, absolutely, that's such a great point, I'll get on that right away!" I mean, we hear that a lot, only to get later confessions of "Yeah, I was still lying," or reports from the BS that the poster's online persona doesn't match their IRL behavior, or a blast of resentful pushback that doesn't match the previous measured humility, or they just plain vanish.
Trust is earned, and it doesn't happen overnight. Hell, I feel like I've been here a long time at 18 months, but for the real old timers, I'm still a newb who is learning the SI ropes. It's an ongoing process to establish true credibility.