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Help to confess everything.

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Robert22205https posted 1/19/2020 23:07 PM

Emma...How did you meet 5 people that would be ok with adultery? Was this a swingers group?

In order to justify your affair, did you lead the 5 people to believe that you were mistreated by your husband?

Emma1207 posted 1/20/2020 06:05 AM

How did you meet 5 people that would be ok with adultery?

I met them long before the affair, most I met through work, when I started thinking about cheating on my husband they insisted that I was not doing anything wrong (ironically the couple) is in their words "if my husband doesn't you know he doesn't suffer ", I didn't end these friendships because of my husband, I ended it because it was not a friendship.

In order to justify your affair, did you lead the 5 people to believe that you were mistreated by your husband?

No, I always made it very clear to them that I knew it was wrong.

Robert22205https posted 1/20/2020 09:53 AM

What kind of work do you do/industry do you work in? It sounds high risk or you prefered to seek out and surround yourself with a certain type of 'friend'.

Did everyone that you shared with (that you were thinking of having an affair)encourage you?

MrCleanSlate posted 1/20/2020 10:12 AM

I suspect that the friends may not have personally known Emma's BH - makes being a party to the A a lot easier.Since your affair was mostly out of town, it almost seems like you were living this double life with your 'friends' enabling it.

If you think about it, if any of those friends which are couples there is a good chance they will also be cheating....

In other words - you are much better off without those 'friends'.

Did your BH connect with your affair partner's wife and advise her?
(I'm sure that must have been a hard call for him to make, but it was needed to be done).

BeyondRage posted 1/20/2020 15:25 PM


Ok, I guess most of us a confused as to hopw a married couple that is not a swinger couple can joyously encourage a "friend' to screw up her life, but so be it. There is not much detail as to if they were buddies of OM.

Did you and your husband double date or take trips with the OM and his wife?

Trips never, dates yes a lot.

The above really confuses me. If i am reading that right, your husband never went on trips but you took him on double dates with your boyfriend. I am guess that was because they were friends. That is a tough one to get over. just my opinion.

As far as the polygraph. Since you have confessed everything, if I was your husband I would be more concerned with if you are maintaining NC with OM in the future as well as these imbeciles in the other city.

The OM apparently knows where you live. What stops him from contacting you???? Or borrowing a phone from a buddy and calling you.

gmc94 posted 1/20/2020 16:16 PM

BeyondRage - the OP (Emma) has said that her BH is friends with the OBS (since childhood, I believe), which is how Emma met the AP, and why the double dates & no trips comment (my WH and I are friends with and done "double dates" with many other couples, but never gone on trips with them).

I believe that Emma's BH was going to tell the OBS about the A (which is about the most compassionate way to tell her IMO). I hope that has happened, for the sake of the OBS and her regaining her agency over her life.

Hope this helps.

Zugzwang posted 1/20/2020 16:26 PM

Especially if the OBS is so-called "friends" with these asshats that encouraged you to cheat with her husband.

gmc94 posted 1/20/2020 18:02 PM

^^^^^ yeah, if OBS knows/is friends with any of the asshats (technical term, right Zug?) who aided and abetted the A between Emma and her AP, it would be helpful if Emma's BH advised the OBS of this (I sure as heck would want to know who was aware of my WH's extracurricular bedroom antics).

QuietDan posted 1/20/2020 21:52 PM

...I apologize...

[This message edited by QuietDan at 9:34 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)]

Emma1207 posted 1/21/2020 13:04 PM

I suggest you join AA.

as I said, I don't drink alcohol, I don't even intend to start.

QuietDan posted 1/21/2020 14:48 PM


[This message edited by QuietDan at 9:34 PM, January 23rd (Thursday)]

Unsure2019 posted 1/22/2020 11:31 AM

Hi Emma,

Just checking into see how you are and how it's going for you. Are you and H talking and making any progress? Did he talk wioth the OBS? You've dealt with this head-on and I hope this can have a postive oucome for both of you.

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