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Fablegirl (original poster member #56784) posted at 2:18 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019
I don't know what's wrong with me I sent my XWH a really dreadful text last night and couldn't stop myself. I was triggered by XMIL calling DD while she was doing her homework and asking why she didn't show up for dinner as she was invited along with XWH. DD suffers from a lot of anxiety and has a lot of academic pressure on her... I didn't even know she was supposed to be at her grandmothers' for dinner (on a school night?). The way she kept apologizing to her grandmother for forgetting -- I could tell there was a lot of guilting going on the other side of the line.
I called XWH but rather than call me back he texted. That enraged me, too, so I went off. A few glasses of wine didn't help. I ridiculed the fact that he is broke and still wastes his time showing up at equestrian events with AP wearing fancy tweeds and pretends he's successful, rather than taking care of his recently widowed mom. DD is getting sucked into care-giving MIL, who is showing signs of dementia. I used to help care for XMIL until she started treating me rudely and insisted the end of the marriage was my fault. Now she's often alone because XWH is always out with AP.
All this is ancient history now and I have no idea why I got so angry so fast. I am in a relationship with someone else, financially stable and have a great job. What's wrong with me? What kills me is I know he loves my anger, it empowers him. Ugh.
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 7:31 PM on Friday, November 15th, 2019
Be easy on yourself. We've all fallen off the NC horse at some point. Let it go and hop back up on that NC pony!
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 4:19 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2019
People can make you angry. No matter what their name is.
Just because he’s your ex. Doesn’t strike some kind of prevention. He’s going to make you angry sometimes.
And sometimes you respond. It’s natural.
Sometimes raging feels good It’s not even close to what they have done.
[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 10:20 PM, November 28th (Thursday)]
bookworm19 ( member #54871) posted at 11:08 AM on Friday, November 29th, 2019
Don't beat yourself up. You are protective of your daughter and you probably felt triggered. It's very hard dealing with people with dementia and guilt tripping others is one of the last capabilities they lose, at least to my experience with 4 very demented relatives.
Yeah, after some wine I was very talkative too, but really, don't be hard on yourself. You are human after all. Hugs
English is not my language, sorry for mistakes and funny words...
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