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Pass (original poster member #38122) posted at 2:28 PM on Sunday, August 18th, 2019
Hey kids,
I've been dating L for almost five years now and we're starting to talk about moving in together, and eventual marriage. We've known for a long time that's what we want, but have been waiting until we're both ready. It'll still be a bit, but it is getting closer.
Of course, we both have kids, our own habits and stuff, and are a bit set in our ways. We're looking for good books on how to go about this operation.
Any recommendations?
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 4:14 AM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
I don't have any recommendations, but just wanted to wave and say hi! Good to "see" you again, Pass! Sounds like you are doing well!! 
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
Pass (original poster member #38122) posted at 2:36 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
Hey, Feeny! Things are going great, thanks. I didn’t think I’d ever get to say that when I first visited this site in 2013. 
I hope all is well with you!
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
PieceByPeace ( member #59999) posted at 11:45 AM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2019
I can recommend The Smart Stepfamily by Ron Deal and But I'm Not a Wicked Stepmother (for your L?) Cathi Lipp and Carol Boley. There are a ton of other great blended family resources out there but these are a great start. I commend you for doing this pre-marriage and not post...as I did. I didn't realize how difficult it would be until AFTER we married and then had to pretty much back pedal. Know what you're getting into...as bad as that sounds, but it's just the truth...blended family life is different than the nuclear family. God bless you and L as you move forward and I pray your blended family will be harmonious...as you iron out the kinks together.
44 yr old ex BS
Survived 15 years with serial adulterer WH
Divorced 5 years
Pass (original poster member #38122) posted at 3:43 PM on Thursday, August 22nd, 2019
Thanks for the recommendation, Piece. It does come highly recommended on Amazon, and I read through the preview they have for it.
Please believe that I mean absolutely no disrespect when I say this, but I grew up in a family that used religion as a poison. Because - or in spite of - that, I'm a bit of an angry atheist, so his regular Christian references rub me the wrong way. I'll just reiterate that I know that most religious people aren't poison and I really do appreciate your recommendation.
However, do you know of any other good books?
[This message edited by Pass at 9:56 AM, August 22nd, 2019 (Thursday)]
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
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