Earlier this week, I got really angry at myself for staying after dday#1 (Dec 2013). He practically said, but not quite, that he didn't want me any more, but in my own mind, I thought, well, he needs to say exactly what he means or I'm just going to ignore it, too bad for him. Totally missing the fact of how it affected me and my life.
Of course he didn't actually want to leave me, I did everything at home! He'd have to take care of himself if he left, and actually have to spend responsible time with his children (kindergarten at the time) by himself! Neither of us pulled the trigger for divorce back then.
The aftermath of DDay#2 (April 2018) I see as more of my own second chance to open my eyes and make better choices for me and my children. And actually do something.
This week's realization is, what the hell is wrong with me that I let myself be treated so badly??
I'd like to start, in particular, separating our finances (I'm not divorcing him at the moment). He wants nothing to do with managing our money, just wants to spend what he wants. He knows that I'm tired of being sole family accountant, but the only thing that's changed it he's less whiny when I won't give him money for his wants. I suppose I could do all the separating myself, but I was wondering if I should consult a lawyer or at least a financial planner to help out. They might be able to point out things I didn't think of.
I'm not sure the actual reason for this post, just reaching out, I guess. I've been reading here for 6 months or so and have gotten a lot out of it.