I've never been involved in any addiction recovery programs of any kind, so any dubious info I have is from media and secondhand info...
It's been a constant uphill struggle to get WS to really see himself and his attitudes and behaviors for what they really were/are, and he has done very little about changing that himself. Lied all the way through from the EA/PA years ago, and other inappropriate interactions, almost up to the present day. He's read How to heal your spouse a couple of times, along with other things, but has not successfully practiced the recommendations. Including to stop lying. He sees an IC, who has asked him to do a few things, but they are only short term, I'm not sure if this was the intention, or just WS being lax. I suspect the latter, based on his overall effort.
One thing that constantly gets my goat is that he has never owned up to anything concrete with his parents, who had a mouthful for me when I first exposed the bare fact of his A. I have since found out a lot of detail, and the fact that he's been lying to me and been a detached and largely uninvolved partner for many years, while giving the impression of a devoted family man is a very bitter pill to swallow. As far as I'm aware, disclosure to family/affected ppl is one of the steps of addiction recovery.
My feelings are that a structured workable program would help more than the random reading hes been doing, with no accountability to anyone apart from me, who he obviously lies to with abandon.
Is there anything like that out there? Something to work through step by step? Anything similar for BS? Like a support group for spouses of unremorseful and constant liars?
Edit: I should clarify that I don't think he's a sex addict, and although he looked at LOADS of porn to the extent of quick check ins through the day (still not sure I know the extent) has (I think) stopped cold turkey when all this started coming out. So that's probably not porn addiction either, just a vast appreciation of it? So the addiction groups I know about don't seem appropriate...
[This message edited by Justgetitoverwith at 7:03 PM, June 16th (Sunday)]