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A long road

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rugswept posted 6/13/2019 10:19 AM

you have to give your wife her chance to make her case. at the same time you also have to assume she has huge incentive to lie to the police to cover her activity if she was involved in any of this voluntarily.

for example, teenage girls who stay out late or fail to come home often come up with fake stories and police reports.

but, maybe she's really a victim and was setup.
the caveat on that is that her initial reactions to the picture didn't have that as part of the story.

k8la posted 6/13/2019 11:18 AM

Are you in a revenge porn state?

nekonamida posted 6/13/2019 12:51 PM

I too think you should still go through with a polygraph. Her reaction is very bizarre. If she passes, you can give that info to the police. Yes, it can't be used in court but I have heard of cases where police accept polygraph findings as part of their investigation even within the last few years. It could get them to take it more seriously.

Did you talk to the detective about how you think the picture came from her ex-coworker's camper? Unless your wife has more details to give, this is a dead end case. They don't have access to the original file to know when it was taken. They won't get anything from an source over Twitter who wants to remain anonymous and probably doesn't even use that account anymore. They could maybe get an idea of where the person who posted that is located if Twitter cooperates on giving them IP info but it's very easy to use a program to give false IP addresses. There's so much going on here that makes it unlikely for them to figure out what happened and if they aren't even sure they believe your wife, they're not going to bother with it.

ShutterHappy posted 6/13/2019 13:48 PM

To the twitter account where you saw the picture, just put a message saying something like ďwhoever posted a picture of my wife, please contact me, I need to know moreĒ. Maybe youíll get an answer...

Moongazer posted 6/13/2019 21:50 PM

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and comments, believe me, Iíve considered everything thatís been mentioned. At this point Iíll work with law enforcement to see what they do and do not find. Iím guessing this will end one way or another when I decide to believe the evidence, good and bad, that is put in front of me. Iím not stupid, it may still end badly. But Iím gonna let this play out. Iím hopeful itís soon as Iím tired of it all.

Robert22205https posted 6/17/2019 12:02 PM

Have you considered a polygraph test?

Dismayed2012 posted 6/17/2019 16:03 PM

Polygraph will get results a lot quicker than the police. Just sayin'.

Curious9 posted 6/17/2019 16:04 PM

I agree with the others a Poly would also help you get closer to the truth.

Robert22205https posted 6/18/2019 07:17 AM

The police are busy and don't have a lot to work with. Just a picture.

It's technically possible to identify the user that posted the picture but I believe it requires the police to conclude there's enough evidence to get the local/state prosecutor involved. Then the prosecutor has to agree there's enough evidence to petition a Judge to issue a court order requiring Twitter to identify the user.

The polygraph test results (which does not meet the evidentiary standard to sentence your wife to life in prison)may encourage the police to take her complaint seriously.

[This message edited by Robert22205https at 7:18 AM, June 18th (Tuesday)]

Moongazer posted 8/2/2019 15:49 PM

Iíve decided Iím ready to accept what my wife is saying, and telling the cops, which is that someone drugged and assaulted her. Iím not stupid and know Iím not getting the full story, and Iím not necessarily believing what she is saying, instead, I am accepting her explanation so that I can let it go. For my own good, I need to move on from this with the least damage possible.

A divorce would take half my pension (income), drive me from my 400k lake home, new vehicles, alienate my kids and grandkids, etc. etc. The thought of financial ruin in retirement is way more stressful than moving on from this.

Will she cheat again? Probably, but whoís to say as a result of this, Iíll not finally take advantage of an opportunity with some interested young lady. Iíve turned down many in 40 years of marriage. Not any more.

Comfortable and blameless living looks pretty good. Iím ready for that next chapter.

Stay well everyone. Thanks for all the help 😊.

NoOptTo posted 8/2/2019 17:19 PM

Wish you well in your journey thru life. Putting an issue behind you and moving forward is some8the best approach. Just be observant of your W behavior. Wish you the best.

Odonna posted 8/3/2019 14:12 PM

Will she cheat again? Probably, but whoís to say as a result of this, Iíll not finally take advantage of an opportunity with some interested young lady. Iíve turned down many in 40 years of marriage. Not any more.

So do you really think an open-marriage will bring you peace?Does that square with your character? Will you tell her of your new openness to sex with other people? Will she have that same freedom? While I donít think rugsweeping as she demands is a good option, I certainly donít think that a callous disregard for marriage boundaries on your part is going to improve the situation.

[This message edited by Odonna at 2:17 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)]

Moongazer posted 8/4/2019 08:45 AM

Odonna said....ĒSo do you really think an open-marriage will bring you peace?Does that square with your character? Will you tell her of your new openness to sex with other people? Will she have that same freedom? While I donít think rugsweeping as she demands is a good option, I certainly donít think that a callous disregard for marriage boundaries on your part is going to improve the situation.Ē

I think you misunderstand. It is not an open marriage. I have just accepted her story and accept that after 40 years, she probably will not change. But to give up everything Iíve worked for because of that behavior isnít something Iím willing to do. My acceptance of her explanation allows me to move on from it, and actually look forward to life again. As far as the revenge sex goes, Iím pretty sure thatís just a fantasy. But talking about it removes some of the lingering emasculation I feel.

Stevesn posted 8/4/2019 08:51 AM

Moongazer

What happened with law enforcement? Is that fully closed out? Iím sure your wife will say it wasnít properly investigated. What do you think?

Is there still an open case?

Moongazer posted 8/4/2019 09:46 AM

Stevesn

Law enforcement still investigating. Iím guessing theyíll find nothing, understandably, theyíve got bigger fish to fry than this junk. My hope was that they could access Twitter archives to get the name of the person that posted the pic, then we could find out who took the picture. But that may require a judges order/warrant and not sure there is enough evidence of a crime (sketchy story) to get that. So, in the background of healing and moving on, I wait for their work to progress.


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