Dear Friends,
I would simply like advice from anyone that has traveled the same path, perhaps you have been through the same feelings/emotions.
My quick background;
Married for 12 years.
Wife cheated for several years with various men, discovered it on iTunes backups in February 2017. In March 2017 I discovered another two affair partners.
In September 2017 I found more information which contradicted her story over the past 8 months of trying to reconcile, to be honest it was impossible anyway.
Moved out of her and our children's home in late September.
We are still in the process of divorce and I hope to have it settled before end February.
She is a natural born lier and manipulator, I don't actually think she is capable of telling the truth.
My questions for you today:
1. ) A lot of the hurt and anger has subsided, although it does pop up very strongly every now and then.
We are at a stage where I talk to her about the past (without much openness from her, yet she answers everything without asking any questions about me), I am actually capable of talking to her without losing my cool, we can visit restaurants and do activities with our children together.
The problem is that I keep bringing up questions about the past at almost every opportunity where we are alone, why am I doing this, it is as if I simply can't help myself. Has this become a habit, am I subconsciously still working through everything?
2.) She has basically moved on already after 3 months of me moving out, by this I mean she has already found someone else, they are just friends according to her, but I can see the "couple/relationship" signs from a mile away.
Why on earth is this bothering me? It feels a lot like she is cheating again, yet we are separated...
3.) I am trying to turn the anger and hate into a friendly/friendship with her to make things easier, but in doing so by communicating with her more and this in turn has led to a different kind of emotion, one where I can see she is moving on, already has someone else, where as I don't and seeing how she simply does not care anymore (not that I really think she ever did)
Is this way too soon, am I simply setting myself up for more hurt?
Thank you to anyone for their thoughtful responses.
[This message edited by HelloPeter at 2:27 PM, January 3rd (Thursday)]